Brew reader Roy Miles writes, “I saw a commercial for this while watching Spider-Man cartoons with my daughter. I thought you would get equally creeped out as I did. The commercial was on Disney XD.”

The company takes Golden Age animation that has entered the public domain and adds “hip-hop” nursery rhymes over them. There are samples on the company’s website. The product’s highlights, according to them, are:

* 100% Profanity Free
* Perfect for those long road trips
* No derogatory themes or message
* Can be enjoyed anytime, anywhere and around anyone
* Introduce your kids to hip-hop the right way
* Will make you regret ever having kids
(OK, I made the last one up.)

Hey everybody, it’s “an animator’s shot of a lifetime,” according to the Fox network and Aniboom.com, who have teamed up to sponsor an outlandishly demanding contest that requires artists to make them a 2-4 minute holiday-themed short for no pay. Fox Broadcasting Company prez Kevin Reilly says, “Fox has long been the sole primetime animation powerhouse, and we’re searching for a fresh new animated holiday special that could potentially become an instant classic and maybe even a weekly series.” The rules are: “Make it funny. Make it edgy. Make it uniquely Fox.” The reward is a few bucks and some kind of a development deal at Fox.

Bottom line: Name me one well-known animation creator who has launched his or her career due to an online contest? Zip, zero, nada! These type of gimmicks are designed to bring attention to the corporations sponsoring them, not to help artists gain a foothold in the industry. Nevertheless, gullible, young and stupid artists who don’t know any better enter these contests by the legions inspired by years of conditioning from reality TV competitions that promise fame and fortune with minimal effort. The only winners in this contest are those who are intelligent enough to not waste their time entering this sham, and instead choose to pursue the path of success that every other great artist has followed in the past, and that quite simply involves hard work, determination and persistence.

UPDATE: Veteran animation writer Mark Evanier addresses the issues of contests, like the Fox/Aniboom one, on his blog. He says, “The terms might as well say, ‘We get everything, you get nothing except what we decide to give you.’ That’s not good for an artist’s wallet, career or soul.”

A Cartoon Brew reader pointed out this blatant ad on Craigslist asking animation artists to work on a Cartoon Network pilot with no guarantee of payment unless the show gets picked up for series. The ad reads:

Deferred payment 1st episode (no-pay), action/adventure series, Cartoon Network, paid assignments and/or production contract after 1st episode.

We decided to take the bait and contact them to find out who’s blessing the Internet with this wonderful opportunity to work for free. Here’s the response from Associate Producer Sasha Tyler at McNeal Enterprises:

Pilot/series is being produced for Cartoon Network, deferred pay 1st-ep(no-pay), regular pay other eps and/or production contract, in moving forward contact the project’s executive producer Kenny Mack, let him know position your interested in, strengths, skills, availability, etc; KMack@McNealEnterprises.biz or 800 481-9754 x 4, PST.

Their website offer no information about what they do, but I found another website of theirs that displays an awfully lame and generic looking action-adventure show called The Savior Chronicles. Sounds like a good match.

The only question that remains: Is Cartoon Network stupid enough to give these amateurs a pilot deal or are they sneakily using Cartoon Network’s name to trick young and inexperienced artists into working on a lame project for free? Either way, this company’s business practices have fail written all over them.

A memo to real estate agents: The market is bad enough. Creepy, poorly animated CG spokespeople aren’t going to increase your sales and rentals.

(via Lili’s Twitter)

This is Nic Cage as the Sorcerer in Jerry Bruckheimer’s live-action version of Disney’s “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.” More photos of Cage as the Sorcerer at FilmDrunk.com. This news has inspired me to start a new tag category on Cartoon Brew, and yes, I plan on using this tag often.

(via Topless Robot)

Are you ready to put this in your “Bikini Bottom”?

I was shopping at the supermarket yesterday when I came upon a unique piece of Nickelodeon merchandising – a Spongebob Squarepants Musical Rectal Thermometer! Yes, it’s musical. And yes, it’s clearly marked for rectal use. It actually plays the Spongebob theme in your ass when your temperature is taken!

Spongebob is a huge success, and merchandise like this literally sticks it to the competition. But this product ranks with the infamous Mickey Mouse vibrator as one of the most miscast in cartoon licensing history! What were they thinking? Spongebob has enough trouble regarding his sexual identity. Ren & Stimpy may have been a better choice here… but Spongebob? Nah!

Really now, c’mon EcoZone.tv. If you’re going to hire somebody to ape somebody else’s style from concept through design through gags, wouldn’t it be more respectable to hire the real McCoy. Little suprise that whoever is responsible for producing the animation isn’t taking credit for it online.