Guess who else doesn’t like the new CN? The people who used to make cartoons at the network, like Chowder creator C.H. Greenblatt. He posted the following comment on his blog a couple days ago: “As I sit here on an empty floor of an empty building looking at all the empty animation offices, I can at least put this on endless loop for some comfort.” The endless loop refers to this ignominious piece of video.

Meanwhile, at Cartoon Network’s executive offices, where the blind continue to lead the blind into irrelevance, they’re convinced that they’ve discovered what kids really want to watch on TV nowadays: golf. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution has the farcical details about one of the network’s new programming initiatives, which involves teaming up with the PGA of America to offer live-action golf shows for kids. “We have to work hard to ensure that we continue reaching families and young people for golf to be relevant in the future,” said Joe Steranka, chief executive officer of the PGA of America. “The Cartoon Network complements the PGA of America’s leadership in junior golf.”

If you wish, there’s a Boycott CN Real group on Facebook. Frankly, I’m just about ready to label it a lost cause and move on.

Your name is Cartoon Network,
so you expect to see
nothing but animation when you flip CN on your TV.
But the times they are a-changing,
so don’t get left behind
because now we’ve got real people and
we’ve heard it blows your mind.

Those are the lyrics from an abrasive Andrew W.K. music video that Cartoon Network released online yesterday. We’ve been reporting on Cartoon Network’s slow, steady decline since April 2006. It’s fascinating to watch how clumsily the network is diluting their brand, and how tactlessly they’re integrating this cheap hodge-podge of live-action shows into their line-up. The first signs of a CN Real backlash are already forming: a Facebook group called Boycott Cartoon Network’s “CN Real” block was recently started and has over 1,400 members.

Worst. Hanna-Barbera Production. Ever!
Roy Clark and Bonnie Franklin host a roast of Fred Flintstone - on Ice!
All five parts now on You Tube. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

(Thanks, Kliph Nesteroff)

According to an article posted today in the trade publication Broadcasting and Cable, Cartoon Network will start advertising its new CN Real (live action) block with a marketing blitz, which will include a Facebook page and a “fanzine”. The article states:

“Cartoon is also relying on decidedly old-school technology in an attempt to lure viewers to the new lineup: a fanzine. The network is printing eight million copies of the fanzine, which will blend pop culture tips with promotional messaging related to the new shows. The publication will be distributed at movie theaters, Six Flags amusement parks, the Essence Music Festival, Cartoon Network live tours and other events.”

Wait a minute… “a fanzine?” Eight million copies? Any publication printing eight million copies, being bankrolled by a major corporation, and distributed in movie theatres and amusement parks isn’t exactly a fanzine. But then again, Cartoon Network isn’t exactly a Cartoon Network anymore…

P.S. While I was searching Facebook yesterday, I found this Boycott Cartoon Network’s “CN Real” Block page. Thought you should know.

Hardly a week passes without news of another exploitative animation “contest.” Sadly, this time it’s an arts organization—the Vancouver Opera—that is soliciting animators to create a short film (under four minutes long) to promote their upcoming season of performances.

This paragraph from their contest rules page is a real hoot:

By entering this Contest, each entrant grants Sponsor and YouTube a worldwide, non-exclusive, royalty-free, fully sub-licenseable and transferable license to use, reproduce, distribute, prepare derivative works of, display, and perform his/her entry on the Website in connection with this Contest. Entrants further grant Sponsor a worldwide, non-exclusive, royalty-free, fully sub-licenseable and transferable license to use, reproduce, distribute, prepare derivative works of, display, and perform their entries in any and all media now known or hereafter developed (including, without limitation, print, broadcast and Internet), for all legitimate business purposes including advertising and promotional activities. Entrants further waive all moral rights in and to the original entry and derivative works of the original entry.

Plain English translation: “Shut up filmmakers! We can do whatever we want with your work and we don’t owe you a cent!”

What does the winner receive for all their hard effort? Perhaps a shiny new Cintiq? Nope, they’re too cheap for that. They will, however, give you a Wacom tablet valued at $349, a copy of Street Fighter 4, and some other useless junk. Their gifts are childish, which, to me, sheds some insight into the entire contest and the contest organizer’s view of our art form. It’s just a cartoon, they say, so we can give the winner a bunch of games as a prize. It’s absolutely shameful.

Perhaps we can return the favor on Cartoon Brew by creating a contest that solicits composers to write us operas for free and then hand over all the rights to their work. Just give me a few days to go out and buy a videogame. Apparently that’s the currency that artists are paid with nowadays.

Nothing like watching a guy in a Baby Huey suit singin’ the blues… This heart wrenching scene is from Baby Huey’s Great Easter Adventure (1999) directed by Stephen Furst (”Flounder” from Animal House) - and I believe that’s Furst under the suit and singing!

(clip via Everything Is Terrible)

A “self-propelled action bed” from a company called “Horsman”? Discuss.

(Thanks, Dave Pruiksma)

Brew reader Roy Miles writes, “I saw a commercial for this while watching Spider-Man cartoons with my daughter. I thought you would get equally creeped out as I did. The commercial was on Disney XD.”

The company takes Golden Age animation that has entered the public domain and adds “hip-hop” nursery rhymes over them. There are samples on the company’s website. The product’s highlights, according to them, are:

* 100% Profanity Free
* Perfect for those long road trips
* No derogatory themes or message
* Can be enjoyed anytime, anywhere and around anyone
* Introduce your kids to hip-hop the right way
* Will make you regret ever having kids
(OK, I made the last one up.)