This is probably the crappiest animation I have ever seen. You shouldn’t have linked their site, I mean they have a freaking webcounter! The last thing those guys need is encouragement…

I think I need drugs or lots of vodka to watch that.

Oh, god, that’s just pitiful. I could do better 3D characters than that without even trying! (Anyone who’s familiar with my YouTube account can attest.)

This looks like a cheap knockoff made in Taiwan, or something like that. I’d be surprised if this film actually finds big distribution (not that crap like RATATOING actually tried).

As hard as many of you guys are on Dreamworks and the like, at least they TRIED to make good animation! This looks like a pitiful student film.

Ow Jerry how harsh of you.
It’s obvious they saved on animation to invest more time in a great storytelling.

…wow, such breathtaking animation.

This is from Hell, undoubtedly.

This is a piece so bad, it has to be a prank, done by some college freshmen, a bet that one could turn out something this bad and get hired and paid by some company in the biz. Tough luck, “freaky flickers” creators. Takes more than 45 minutes to put a decent computer animated film together.

…. Where do you FIND this stuff?!
And … how does this stuff even get made? Uggghh his mouth never moves!

I’m horribly horribly confused.

I do, however, like how they made EVERYTHING look like it was made from plastic. They must be planning to bring Phong shading back with this.

There’s so much to hate here. I’d say the worst are the “parodies,” if you can call them that, of movies that very young children haven’t seen.

No amount of irony could get me to watch this.

Their page counter on the “distribution” site is 97 by now (should be 96 but I accidentally reloaded the page). I wonder how the number rises as more Brew readers are diabolically lured into visiting the page (and sure bet some bored kid reading this will produce a script that pushes the counter to 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,013 or so).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1BZ9XaxLx0

check out “the little panda fighter” from the makers of ratatoo-ing…

Oh dear! This is bad! This goes beyond bad! There is nothing i can say about this that hasnt allready been thought by everyone else! I would like to see a “behind the sceenes” segment! Who made it? and in what software? And for how much?

Looks like it was made with Bryce and Poser

If they were looking for funding I could understand, but distribution! You mean they already have a series of some sort ready to go?

Although, you know, if they succeed, it might just inspire me to create my own series, about a leprechaun. All 22 episodes will be animated, directed, produced and marketed solely by me, over a long weekend.

*sarcasm totally intended.

looks like another case of merch-based cartoon production…

http://www.freakyflickers.com./tvcomercial.htm

MAAANN!!! MY EYES ARE MELTING !!!! hahahah….so bad

A quick Google search reveals that this is based on a toy (http://www.freakyflickers.com/tvcomercial.htm), which may help explain the plastic look. The best that I can tell from the pixelated commercial is the toy looks like a cross between marbles, super balls and Madballs.

As far as the animation goes, it might have helped if they went for a jerky stop-motion look (but then again, I’m not in the animation business).

I demand a theatrical release! The big screen is the way to see this gem of animation. At least the Pyrates have mouths that move slightly…

Whoa, that looks like homemade CGI and HTML from 12 years ago.

So what’s up with everybody being just a head with an incongruous tail and that floating hand thing?

Well, the movie seems to be based on a plastic toy, so I guess the “characters’” look is sort of deliberate.

http://freakyflickers.com/tvcomercial.htm

Oh my! There’s a second trailer…

http://www.freakyflickers.com/showtime.htm

It looks like a deranged mixture of Madballs and Cogs Hollow. It looks poorly animated, and has some dodgy sound design- my speakers are going to recover from that!
I think it’s one of those things that if it had better animation, better sound design, and probably better everything, it may be tolerable- touch Phong shaded wood!

Why is there a ninja on board of a pirate ship, we’ll never know.

Woof, even the 99¢ Store would have trouble moving this dreck off their shelves.

i tried to make the trailer a little better by watching it on silent with other music playing, but that didn’t help much. i’m actually quite amazed that they are serious in having this film distributed; from character design to background layouts, it’s a wreck!

a toy cast was a very, very wise decision in terms of texture, but i can’t stop but compare it to that of a “similar” (:-D) Pixar classic.

Hmph. No matter how cheap the toy, they’re going to make a movie out of it. The first movie animated on a PlayStaion 1 console! You’ll never complain about the animation in VeggieTales again!

You can also go to freakyflickers.com and find that they’re available just about nowhere.

Now looking forward to the inevitable “Homiez” feature.

Wow, this is truly horrific. That it’s based on a crappy novelty toy explains a lot. I’m willing to bet that the toy was pitched to investors as the next big thing and the movie was thrown in as an idea that would help sell the toys to tip them over the edge. So I’d say this is nothing more than the result of an overambitious pitch to drum up investors.

Either they knew that a movie would never happen and they churned this crap out to fulfill a contract or they’re idiots and genuinely thought they could make a movie based on their toy for no money and someone would buy it.

Either way, this is an offense.

The character models look as if they were made by Jim Ludtke, after he hit his head on a boat propeller.
_____________________________________________
Cool things about the MOTHER FLICKERS project::

Its site was created with the slickest 1994-era web design

The home page title is “Blank”

593 web-surfers have seen it so far!
_______________________________________

Maybe it’s just me, but I’m more likely to watch something like this repeatedly than to look at the beautiful-but-dull RATATOUILLE again. The visual horror of FLICKER is compelling. You can’t deliberately create something like this. It must be done with sincere incompetence and cluelessness, Ed Wood-style. If I see a torrent of this, or spot it in a $2 bin at BIG LOTS, I’ll grab it.

The characters have the look of some kind of crappy toy line: Balls with faces, suction cups on the back. The green scrotum-fish is particularly appealing/appalling. The palsied, incomplete lip sync is a real treat. The lighting looks like that of old school realtime demo-scene graphics with a single light source. There’s only one surface for everything, as noted above: painted vinyl!

Uh, I actually liked the monsters, especially the T Rex with a head bigger than his whole body. And the rocket engine on the pirate ship is cool…

Could this be considered an “outsider” 3D animated feature?

Will Gallery Abominate ever be updated?

Dang it Mark! You beat me to a VeggieTales reference. I was going to say that viewing a Veggie vid would be a good first step in the long climb back towards watchable CG.

:·)

HOLY CRAP THIS LOOKS TO BE THE BEST CG MOVIE EVER MADE!

AND I JUST LOVE HOW THEY KEEP THE SAME FACIAL EXPRESSION IN EVERY SCENE!

You guys are so snarky. Didn’t your parents teach you if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Here’s my opinion:

Boum says: Why is there a ninja on board of a pirate ship, we’ll never know.

That is truly mysterious-. Everybody knows that historically, pirates and ninjas are deadly enemies. These people obviously didn’t do any research.

Ugh, I had my headphones on, that screaming’s making my ears ring still!! This can’t be real, can it? Oi -__-’ They all looking like floating snot, or am I the only one thinking that?

Dan, I just threw up in my mouth. My student reel from 12 years ago looks better than this… I think.

C’mon now; you KNOW you’re all going to rent this on DVD and watch it while indulging in your favorite adult beverage, herb, or recreational chemicals…

This is the sort of thing my dentist runs on his ceiling flatscreen when I’m getting a root canal.

I’m so glad someone mentioned Madballs! I had no idea waht they were called, but I had the baseball guy in the 80’s. I think I would rather watch security camera footage of a Madball just sitting there for 2 hours than this movie.

Wow. Just wow. Poor student film that tries to combine Pirates of the Caribbean, Indiana Jones, King Kong and Toy Story?

This is what happens when none of your colleagues or friends tell you the truth.

HILARIOUS!!

Don’t you just love it when cheap 3d software, lo-end pc’s, a total lack of talent and imagination and fly-by-night hacks lookin’ to score quick bucks come together? Lookin’ forward to your ‘Worst Cartoons Ever-in 3D!” show, Jerry!

Do they actually say that it is a feature anywhere, Jerry? All I can see is a reference to “a series of half hour CG cartoons”, so this might just be the pilot episode.
http://newrealmpictures.com/resume.html

Awesome, Bogglins the movie! I’ve been waiting for this since I was in 3rd grade.

That’ll Replace the Whale In Me Nightmares!

I so loved the Mo Cap Mickey Mouse of Cartoon Brew yore, and I’ve watched Colin’s Bear dozens of times, but this might be the best bad animation you’ve ever posted. Excellent stuff!

Esn - According to an ad in Variety back in April, this is a 90 minute feature.

Oh..my..God….for once I’m at a complete loss for words….excuse me while I go and flush my eyes out.

bad acid. . .

I really expected Leonard Plinth Garnell to come out and the end and review the clip in “Bad Animation Theatre”

…”Dreadful, a real stinker”.

This is balls out CRAZY! What’s with the heroine’s design? What’s with all the humorless crushing of the main pirate, like it was just this man’s pitiful lot in life to be squished over and over again just as some kind placeholder for an actual joke? I have to say I fucking love this, it passes through the bottom of bad into the realm of amazing.

Looking for sponsors, eh?

They should try with the folks of Al-Qaida ;-)

should be played before troll 2 for an awesome double feature

Is this a video game as well? I don’t understand.

As awful as it is, you kinda have to admire the imagination that pits a pirate, a ninja, a pig, an aviator and a fish against a t-rex, a giant bloodthirsty rabbit and a venus flytrap as they sail the seas in their rocket-powered pirate ship!

This really brings back memories of watching the online trailer for “Wolf Tracer’s Dinosaur Island.” I just scoured the Web but was unable to find any site still hosting the trailer. Does anyone out there have a link? Trust me, if you liked “Flickers,” you’ll LOVE “Dinosaur Island!”

Wow! I can’t wait to see this ultra-hip post-post modern ironic irony movie! And by that I mean I can’t wait to see the “creators” drawn, quartered and publicly eviscerated.

This is better than wall-e. Its actually funny. a weird walking floating pirate head. some weird pig head. its actually pretty cool and if it had better execution it could be really entertaining.

you guys are so negative.

Well, if nothing else, at least I no longer fear Hell. (Unless Hell is repeated viewing of this video, in which case we’re all screwed.)

I dig it!

Is this a college project?

Seriously.

Oh Jerry - I love this site so. But when you post things like this, it makes me want to gouge my eyes out.

On the other hand, reality makes me want to do the same.

CARTOONS, TAKE ME AWAY!!

Are you guys sure this isn’t the Pre-viz for Disney’s Treasure Planet?

Anyone want to go halfsies with me on the distribution rights?

I kind-of like the tree-humping shark. But otherwise…

I had to send them an email and tell them how terrible it was and how laughable it is that they want to distribute it. But then again, Shark Tales made it to theatres, and Open Season, and Madagascar, and….

damn, i don’t have anything witty to say about it!

can i still join?

Wasn’t there a serial killer named “Madballs”?

Hahahahaha! Boglins! Thanks for bringing back childhood memories Nate!

That guy to the right of the eye patch guy, doesn’t he look like Boba Fett? Got the same T line visor helmet thingie.

That was hilarious, Jerry. Thanks. You should license it out for your Worst Cartoon DVDs. I have a stack of blank DVD-Rs. I can be the distributor. When Wal-Mart hears of this, they’ll be first in line to offer up shelf rental.

Oh come on now! Seriously, is it too much to expect the Brew to stop Hating For Absolutely No Reason At All??! I am SO tired of the negativity. I, for one, think this looks like a decent movie to take the kids to, maybe get them away from all the blah blah blah about FORM and CONTENT and EXCEEDING EXPECTATIONS for a precious ninety minutes of their lives.
Face it, you guys secretly prefer art in this, its purest form to the profit-driven abominations of the major studios. You also know that Turkish Star Wars is better than the real thing. Stupid elitists.

The Raiders of the Lost Ark reference is priceless

That looks awful. I just finished watching the “trailer” and now I need to go shave again.

I wish I hadn’t been eating while I watched that trailer. I’m actually grossed out by the characters. This is beyond bad.

It is awful animation and rendering. But look at South Park. I expect if they have a good script it might save all the awful animation. But judging by the trailer, I’m not sure about the script…

So. Confused.

I went to the toy website to try and make more sense of all of this, but I’m more confused than ever–the site has no product shots or even an explanation of what these things are supposed to be.

How anyone wasted their time with this mess is beyond me.

I like to bag on crappy feature film trailers as much as the next guy (maybe even moreso). But really, this obviously isn’t a fully funded feature film with guaranteed distribution and backed by some huge corporation with all the resources money can buy. It’s clearly just a feature that some rube made independently in his garage and is shopping around trying to get distribution. Who here wouldn’t want to be able to achieve that? Yes, the material here is considerably less than stellar (obviously), but the fact that someone was able to complete a feature length film on their own is actually pretty commendable. Will the maker of this film get theatrical distribution? Not likely. And he’ll have to take his knocks the hard way, just like many of us here in the trenches will (or have) at some point in our careers. But bagging on a homemade, pre-sale indie effort like this in a public forum is kinda f*cked up. Its like comparing your great-grandmother’s electric guitar playing unfavorably against Jimi Hendrix’s. It’s like shooting ants with a shotgun. What’s the point?

(Er…all that said, if this turns out to be an effort created by some corporation with the money, but not the sense to hire decent talent, I take it all back.)

Look what just turned up!

WOLF TRACER DEMO REEL

Spread this link around. Everyone must see it.

FP… words fail me.

Hope I don’t suffer an aneurysm on the way home, on account of watching that video.

Looks like Adult Swim gold to me. Is this honestly any worse than Robot Chicken?

Badjoojoo :

It’s a feature length toy advertisement.

And to me a poorly made short means someone has a lot to learn, but a feature this BAD means they’ve got their priorities all out of whack because they’re trying to make money before they’ve gotten anywhere learning the craft.

The music video for Dire Straits “Money For Nothing” had better 3d animation in 1984 that this stuff made with current stuff.

To quote Gene Wilder in Blazing Saddles:

“We’re awake…but we’re very puzzled…”

That’s not a feature, that has to be an arcade game from the early ’80s.

That was so bad it was actually funny. Who needs drugs when you can watch this instead?

I like how the word, “flickers” at first glance actually looks like another, more appropriate word. (think… combine the L and I to make a U). So whenever they flash their messages on the screen like “Flick ‘Em”, “Mother Flickers” it really suits what they’re doing.

Well. I’m blind now. I hope you’re happy.

No. No, this can’t be it. I mean, there has to be an explanation for this. Contact the creator, the “animator”, SOMEONE to put reason behind this thing’s existence. I can’t even fathom how this project got as far as it did when everything about it is absurdly horrid. I can’t comprehend it. I can’t.

Boum says: Why is there a ninja on board of a pirate ship, we’ll never know.

The site with the trailer is currently completely down:

“This site has been temporarily disabled. If you are the owner of the site, please contact customer care.”

I saved the trailer and a three-minute batch of clips. They will live forever!

Now I have to see it. Please fix.

Glad to see I was spared to see some toy-based feature trailer I know I would’ve made the same mentioning of “Madballs” in response to a toy I probably never had 20 years ago. Course I was also thinking of “Blurp Balls” too…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zf4xyJShJhI

I just stuck the FLICKERS trailers on YouTube. The sound sync got messed up, but who cares.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PM1EDfVFCZU

ALL OF THE EMOTION and REACTION THIS FILM IS GENERATING FROM YOU ALL I WOULD BET THIS IS GOING TO BE A BIG HIT

(when it is a big hit you guys can reminisce this moment when you discovered it when no one else knew about it isn’t that sweet)

It’s like the girl you pick on in school because you secretly LOVED her. Remember when you were in first grade but pretended she had cooties because you were afraid to show your real feelings you don’t want to admit you like her because your super cool friends don’t want to admit that they also have a crush on her. Come on guys you spent all day researching this movie and posting on this blog and it sounds like you watched every second of the trailer it sounds like love to me. I’d like to see some of your animation if you have any and see how great it is.

What the f#*@!
I think I`m gonna puke!

This looks as if it has been made in 1982!

David, you didn’t work on this film by any chance did you? :)

David, the point is that almost any of us could produce a better looking animated trailer with nothing but a pencil and a stack of typing paper - that piece of animation is a travesty and will likely only sink the fortunes of this burgeoning Freaky Flickers franchise rather than bolster it.

Something tells me that we won’t have to worry too much about this “girl with cooties” showing us up any time soon.

Mudron I would be interested to see a link to any animation you have done

I knocked out some hand-drawn 2D animation back in college (none of it is on the web as the web barely even existed then), but that’s entirely besides the point - you don’t have to be a Glen Keane or a John Lasseter or even a Jay Ward to know bad animation when you see it (the same way you don’t have to be Julia Child to know that a half-burnt chocolate cake with shrimp in the middle of it to know that tastes like crap).

That said, I can’t entirely blame the animator(s) working on the project here, as the layout/direction/writing/music in the film is also a trainwreck, to say nothing of the atrocious editing within the trailer itself (it barely succeeds to communicate any kind of a narrative to the audience, fails to illustrate exactly what the hell a “Freaky Flicker” even is, and is filled with terrible editing choices - jumping in and out of incoherent dialogue, lingering on shots where almost nothing is happening in frame while abruptly cutting away from other shots where something IS happening)….

Man, anyway, this thing is a mess. David, if you did work on this thing then my heart really goes out to you, as no one likes to see their work get torn apart by the wolves, but all the arguing in the world won’t convince anyone that this trailer is anything but a mess. Oy.

Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion looked better rendering in real time on a game console. Heck, I think Morrowind looked better.

I’ve seen better produced Halo 2 mechanima.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fo4UVaGo1Y4

“Site temporarily disabled”

All you meanies must’ve embarrassed this guy into taking his site down - which means I’ve missed all the fun!

wow, you guys are so stuck up its not funny. Freaky Flickers is “off line” now. South Park is bad animation and so is “robot chicken” yet audiences like that stuff. nobody cares, we just want “Story”.

if ya’ll are so good for freaky flickers where are your movies then?
or ya’ll just big mouths?

Ya’ll annoy me. Seriously.

The site’s back up.

Now that the site’s back up.. I need to say, that 3D Flicker Island game you can explore is actually pretty cool. I spent a good hour looking around and finding stuff. Perhaps they should take focus away from making the movie and making a 3D web browser game…

Well, here’s a new, slightly spiffed-up trailer. At least this proves it’s an official tie-in with the toys.

http://www.freakyflickers.com/showtime.htm