Disney Lab Unveils Its Latest Genetically Engineered Stars Disney Lab Unveils Its Latest Genetically Engineered Stars

Disney Lab Unveils Its Latest Genetically Engineered Stars

This just in from The Onion:

(Thanks, Randall Kaplan)

  • Mr. Semaj

    Disney’s Brave New World.

  • Keith Paynter

    The voice you are now hearing is Richard Kiley…spared no expense!

  • flouncin’ freddy

    these non cartoon related articles that have been popping up lately remind me a lot of when cartoon network started going “live-action”, a move which was slammed by the brew. kinda ironic? or no?

  • Cyber Fox

    The thing is, The Onion is a news organization that is not to be taken seriously as they are 100% spoof and not real news

    As partly funny as this is, the real thing that IS funny that Disney and Nickeodeon loves to manufacture stars (even they have little to no talent)

  • steppo

    DISNEY’S the BEST!

    Gosh I wish there were more labs working so hard like this.

  • Reminds me of mocap…

  • Fred Sparrman

    I just want to know what they think of Sarah Palin!

  • Christopher Cook

    They should just change the Disney Channel’s name to the Teenybopper Channel. Or the Mary Sue Channel, seeing as how it’s cluttered with teen girl pop stars that its target audience fantaszie about being.

  • Marc Baker

    That’s pretty much what Disney has become. An evil laboratory that manufactures disposable pop stars, and forces them on the masses. God forbid they should make a good animated feature, or TV series with concerted effort. That would be a major ‘financial risk’. (but one that keeps their reputation intact.) So instead, they make these generic movies, and sitcoms with fresh faces that can be easily exploited but sully the studio’s animation heritage. (Besides, cartoons cost millions that they don’t want to loose.) And if any of these kids start to lead reckless lifestyles, they won’t be held accountable by these angry parents, and cartoon fans who want us to spend millions on animation, or better programing. we’ll just manufacture more pop stars because that easy money, baby!

    And this is why i’ve lost all of my respect for Disney these. I’m sick, and tired of ‘Hanna Montana’, ‘High School Musical’, ‘The Jonas Brothers’, and other shallow Disney Channel junk being shoved in my face everywhere i turn. Makes me so mad that i want to get out my sharpie, and draw a mustache on their faces like Daffy Duck did in ‘Daffy Doodles’. The company has gotten so greedy with these generic pop stars that they’ve completely forgotten their roots as an animation leader. This image i found on Deviant Art perfectly illustrates my current feelings towards Disney.


    Oh, and one more thing. i hope that Cartoon Brew doesn’t give in to the changing times, and deviates from it’s original mission like most cable channels have in the last eight years. Yet i welcome anything that expresses concern for Disney’s neglect for animation in favor of manufacturing pop stars. After all, it all started with a mouse, right?

  • Jason

    I just want to know why they think of another artificial, manufactured celebrity – Barack Obama!

  • Coming this fall from Disney! “The Stepford Wives.”

    A new band of singing/dancing hockey moms.

  • Dan

    I wish I was manufactured.

  • Disney could make their own Pinky and the Brain cartoon which could be set in that lab.

  • Brilliant! The Uncanny Valley is alive and well. ;-)

  • Pedro Nakama

    I agree with Christopher Cook above. The Disney Channel is horrible.

  • Marc Baker

    Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?

    Pinky: I think so brain, but isn’t Debbie Gibson doing a stage version of ‘Victor Victoria’?

  • The ONN is one of my favorite things to have come out of the Onion.

    There’s another story from the ONN a while back about Miley Cyrus conservation.

  • OM

    …Oh Gawd, it’s *finally* happened. They’ve cloned Adrian Zmed!

  • tyler

    ok now are these geneticallycreated people androids? and if this is true why arent the military using this imagine creating superhumans as soldiers. thats what makes this obviously fake

  • Samjoe

    Here is the opening lyrics from the Diego Ditty/War Chant from the Monkees Movie “HEAD”.
    The Monkees: the original manufactured band.

    Hey, hey, we are the monkees
    You know we love to please
    A manufactured image
    With no philosophies

  • H Park

    “flouncin’ freddy says:

    these non cartoon related articles that have been popping up lately remind me a lot of when cartoon network started going “live-action”, a move which was slammed by the brew. kinda ironic? or no?”

    I don’t mind as long it’s got to do with animation and its industry. Personally I hate the fact that Cartoon Network airs movies like Goonies when it’s supposed to be all-animation channel. If they want to broadcast live show, I wish they could make in-depth interview/ commentary show similar to this:

    BS Anime Yawa (NHK)


    Or Broadcast indie animations! :)

  • Mia

    New Disney isn’t all bad…haven’t you people seen Phineas and Ferb?

  • sally wallfeild

    I don’t know if all of this is real or not but if it is it is really creepy and I think they should just use real people instead of fake people because it just is stupid so I think if its real they should stop BYE!:P

  • Kal

    I guess this explains why all the females go rogue after a while. They only let the behavior paradigms only last long enough for Disney to bring out a new batch.