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JERRY BECK
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AMID AMIDI
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Cartoons Hate Families
by jerry
November 27, 2008 12:45 am


Did you know that CARTOONS HATE FAMILIES? It’s true, I guess. Otherwise they wouldn’t say in in all caps at christiansagainstcartoons.com. At first I thought it was a crazy over-the-top parody, but it seems to be the real thing. I, for one, would never have guessed that Monsters Inc. is an attempt by the Godless Disney organization to introduce Satanism to innocent children. But sure enough, it is!

This site apparently has not been updated in a year, so I’d hate to push up their numbers and encourage them to post more. Still, it’s an interesting find — in the same way that the life forms one discovers hiding under a rock make for “an interesting find”. It’s too late for me, but you may still be able to save yourself from these filthy, vile cartoons!

(Thanks Joe Dante and special thanks to Dewey McGuire)

11/27/08  1:24am
Mark Morgan says:

This is … wow … I just checked out the site and that’s bad. I mean really bad.

I’m a hardcore, Christian fundamentalist. I read my Bible everyday. I’ve gone beyond that, studying Hebrew and Church History to get a wider breadth of knowledge concerning my faith. I’m well read in terms of the scriptures and the history surrounding them and I am a very devout Christian.

And I’ve got to admit it, I get put out a lot by the stuff on Adult Swim. Honestly, I do. I wish adult didn’t have to mean sex and fart jokes. I wish it could mean intelligent, well thought dramas and sitcoms that challenged the viewer and perhaps gave them food for thought. Of course, there’s very little if anything like that on TV even in live action, so I can’t really blame animation for following that trend.

That being said I feel … well, pretty embarrassed by all this.

I don’t know who these people are, but I assure you as a devout Christian and a student of the Bible, animation will not send you to Hell. If anything, I like animations because it generally has more imagination in it than a lot of the live action stuff we get and as C.S. Lewis once said, “Imagination alludes to Heavenly Truth. We are God’s children after all and like him we feel the need to create.”

That’s not a direct quote, I don’t have my source material with me, but I read that line a hundred times and that’s basically what he said.

11/27/08  1:34am
Sam Filstrup says:

I consider myself religious, and find this hilarious that such over zealous people have taken it to such a far extent. It begs the question if this site is merely a joke, though unfortunately some end up being blinded by their very religion. That leads me to believe that this site isn’t a joke. Who have taken their religion to a harmful extent. But because I’m studying to become an animator and enjoy as well as admire Monsters Inc., Spongebob, and Rocko I must be a satanist, right?

11/27/08  2:01am
Bob says:

I’m still not sure that site is supposed to be taken seriously.

11/27/08  2:03am
Aleksandar Vujovic says:

Wow, that’s a very interesting read. It’s hard to believe people who have “These guys love Jesus HARDER than anyone we know! METAL FOR JESUS.COM” as a link on their website can also spread such messages of hate. It’s ironic considering how ‘hard’ they love jesus.

Man, i’ve been laughing at the writing on that site for the past 20 minutes and i’ve still got like 10 more minutes to go. Brilliant find Jerry.

11/27/08  2:12am
Aleksandar Vujovic says:

Haha, also, must note that that banner is absolutely excellent.
Who is the comic genius?

11/27/08  2:13am
AnthroCoon says:

I’ve seen that site before and I’m pretty sure it’s a spoof. Similar to
what a group called The People’s Cube does–conservatives who
spoof liberalism by pretending to be Communist (”Communists For
Kerry”; “life behind the irony curtain”). Spoof.

11/27/08  2:25am

Yeah, I’m not convinced either. The pictures are hilarious. It has to be a joke, right?

Right?

A good find though. I wonder what they would have made of the “Lil’ Jesus” cartoon I saw pitched at the Cartoon Forum some years back (I don’t think that was the exact title but that was the general gist of it).

11/27/08  3:27am

“I don’t know who these people are, but I assure you as a devout Christian and a student of the Bible, animation will not send you to Hell.”

Surely that has to be made the ‘Comment of the Moment’.

11/27/08  3:36am
Uli Meyer says:

Oh come on, this is clearly a piss-take. I know some of you guys over there take the whole Christianity thing a bit too serious for my taste (I’m not judging btw) but surely nobody can be this loopy. Someone is having a laugh.

11/27/08  4:47am
Tim Drage says:

At first I thought it was a crazy over-the-top parody
What on earth made you change your mind?

11/27/08  5:41am
Christopher Cook says:

It’s like Tom Hanks said in “Punchline”:

Don’t worry…we’re all God’s little animated cartoons.

11/27/08  6:43am
eero says:

This is obviously a joke. Just check some of the links, notably ‘god and gays’ which is actually a piss take on christian fundamentalism..

11/27/08  6:49am

Animation sent me to hell.
Just ask any of my friends.

11/27/08  6:51am
MonkeyFunk says:

Yeah, us Toon Zoners decided on “parody”:
http://forums.toonzone.net/showthread.php?t=211666

11/27/08  7:50am
Justin Weaver says:

HA! Nice! I actually thought the site was real for a minute or two, but could ANY self respecting HUMAN honestly take all that stuff seriously?

11/27/08  8:01am
christian says:

Love the picture of Celine Dion watching Monster Inc! hahahahha

11/27/08  8:32am
roconnor says:

I hate Christians, cartoons and families -I don’t know who to side with!

11/27/08  9:11am
Tom Pope says:

Loves me some Brother Cletus.

11/27/08  9:12am
Anikey says:

Love the site, great piece of comedy ;)

11/27/08  9:39am
JPDJ says:

The site’s one big gag. The “God and Gays” link, with its interview of Jesus Christ, is particularly funny.

That’s right, JHC raises the roof.

11/27/08  9:44am
Jason says:

**Oh come on, this is clearly a piss-take. I know some of you guys over there take the whole Christianity thing a bit too serious for my taste (I’m not judging btw) but surely nobody can be this loopy. Someone is having a laugh.**

Yeah, perhaps some people’s dour view of Christianity is blinding them to an obvious parody. ;)

11/27/08  9:44am
Steve Gattuso says:

While cartoons may not SEND you to Hell, I’ve seen more than a few that made me feel I was IN Hell.

11/27/08  9:48am
Chuck R. says:

It’s got to be a joke. The Bee Movie part is pretty funny.
Hey, it just dawned on me. Where’s that O’Reilly guy?

11/27/08  10:06am
paburrows says:

Thats definatly a spoof. Theres no way its serious. I love the very bottom. Theres an image of Jesus with his arms up with the caption: EVEN JESUS RAISES THE ROOF!!! Seriously… WHO’S COOLER THAN CHRIST???

11/27/08  11:59am

I’d agree about this being a spoof, the big tip off is the God and Gays interview with Jesus as mentioned previously by JPDJ. I’d turn my irony filter up a bit here!

11/27/08  12:11pm
vzk says:

If you think that’s funny, you should check out this:

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0805/corpsebride.html

11/27/08  12:12pm
Anson J says:

This reminds me a bit of the stuff for Bill Maher’s Religulous website. http://www.lionsgate.com/religulous

11/27/08  12:35pm
Hieronymous says:

Its true though, christians DO hate cartoons. Thats why there were riots and the murder of innocent people over a cartoon by christians recently.

…oh wait. That was muslims. Sorry.

11/27/08  12:57pm

haha, I’m calling out Brendan Burch as the jokester for this website. It even mentioned several of his studios’ cartoons as blasphemous. funny articles on this tho!

11/27/08  1:49pm
Gerard de Souza says:

Kah-mawn! This is a joke.
This reminds me of the “star wars is evil” prank site. The kick these pranksters get are media attention and sometimes someone agrees with them.

11/27/08  2:13pm
Daniel Fouste says:

“PJ Keane! Don’t you know cartoons are the work of the Devil? Now turn the Playboy Channel back on.” - Dysfunctional Family Circus caption

11/27/08  2:23pm

GULL UH BULL!

11/27/08  4:05pm
Private Eye says:

Hello my fellow animation enthusiasts,

Jessica Plummer is right. I’m just confirming it. The website is of course a spoof like most of you could tell. I just did a little Internet research, it only took me a few minutes. I ran a whois query on christiansagainstcartoons.com and this is what I came up with:

Domain name: christiansagainstcartoons.com

Registrant Contact:

Brendan Burch ()

Fax:
1245 N Vine St
#323
Los Angeles, CA
US

Then I Googled Brendan Burch’s name (because I don’t know who he is) and found an interview on him at cold hard flash dot com. Link: (http://coldhardflash.com/2005/04/burch-unbuckled-part-1.html) As it turns out Brendan Burch runs an animation studio called Six Point Harness. So there you have it folks.

11/27/08  4:10pm
Ridgecity says:

If Jesus was alive, he would ban churches paying for crappy religious cartoons to control the mind of kids, thus forcing them to watch South Park, the other kind of crap.

11/27/08  5:21pm

It’s more of an indictment of fundamentalism than it is of Jerry that a site like that makes us take a second look before we’re absolutely sure it’s a joke.

11/27/08  8:08pm
Autumn says:

I’m clearly going to hell in a hand basket then…

Worth it.

11/27/08  10:59pm
gepinniw says:

it is a joke site!
and well done, too!

11/27/08  11:22pm
Ward says:

Check the WhoIs for this site and the name is: Brendan Burch. Umm, yeah, this is bogus. And quite funny, too.

11/27/08  11:24pm

Everybody knows Jesus loved cartoons. When a crowd of people wanted to stone a woman for being sinful, Jesus stooped down and drew cartoons in the sand. Then everybody left. Maybe Christians don’t like cartoons. But Jesus sure does!

11/28/08  2:43am

The site you guys posted is satire, but this is all too real: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoVGMwcOjL4

11/28/08  6:15am
Matthew K Sharp says:

Be fair, though - it was the cartoons who started it by being deliberately provocative. Having a dinosaur as the very first cartoon star was just a slap in the face to all anti-evolution true Christian believers.

Otto Messmer’s 1923 “Felix Gets Crucified” didn’t help matters either…

11/28/08  8:02am
Kyle says:

Hoax site is a hoax - its for laughs and entertainment only.

11/28/08  9:57am
Dave says:

You had it right the first time: “At first I thought it was a crazy over-the-top parody” .

But if you really didn’t want people to click on the site and push up their numbers then why post it ?

11/28/08  11:57am

Is Brendan Burch’s studio ‘Six Point Harness’ or ‘Six Six Six Point Harness’??? ;-)

11/28/08  1:55pm

My dad used to say, “if you don’t have a sense of humor, I don’t KNOW you”. It is clearly a catastrophic “commuunication breakdown” (of bibilical proportions??) for these sad people to claim that “cartoons hate families”. What idiocy. First of all, cartoons are inanimate objects, although they are animated; ironic, no? They are not people AND they are incapable of feelings. Even children know this. Secondly, these “people of faith” have NO sense of humor!! What dullards. Lighten it up, folks!! I’m a Buddhist AND a cartoonist and I LOVE my family. It’s actually people WITHIN some families who hate each other! Anyway, the humorless are the ones who REALLY need “divine intervention”. God, tell a joke or SOMETHING!

11/28/08  2:03pm
Stephen says:

The site is OBVIOUSLY a really sad hate filled spoof. So like Dave said, what possible purpose could it serve to bring this up in a post? Is the focus of the site Animation or Christian bashing?

11/28/08  5:57pm

lol, did you notice the cartoon jesus at the bottom of the page counting how many people have visited the site? if that aint hipocracy…

11/28/08  6:47pm
Paul N says:

A scary notion: some fundamentalist stumbles onto that site and takes it for the real thing…

11/28/08  8:27pm
Mike Kozlowski says:

…Sadly, my ex has several books that really DO tell you how bad animation (and Disney animation in particular) is for young Christians. One in particular - IIRC the book was called ‘12 Things Witches Don’t Want Parents To Know’ - explains in excruciating detail how ‘The Little Mermaid’ is actually a thinly disguised attempt to recruit youngsters to worship the ancient Syrian god Dagon, also known as ‘the little fish’…

Mike Kozlowski

11/29/08  10:02am

OH MY GOSH!!!!! animation is the work of the devil??!?!? then what am I, a good little Christian girl who’s never smoked or had sex, doing STUDYING how to CREATE this Godless filth??!?!?!?! I’M A SENIOR, I HAVEN’T GRADUATED YET!!! I CAN STILL DROP OUT WITHOUT HAVING THIS ABOMINATION PRINTED ON MY DIPLOMA!!!!!!!

…good grief. like Bob said a bit ago, i’m still not entirely convinced that the site is really meant to be taken seriously, but… complete lack of imagination in visual design and navigation, links to other anti-everything Christian sites, no updates in a year… check, check, check. this could very well be the real deal. these kind of people embarrass and tick me off to no end.

sigh. at least they’re good for a laugh.

11/29/08  1:04pm
Busta Rhymes says:

THIS SITE IS FAKE. This is a joke website that the Six Point Harness animation studio made a few years ago. (Hence the Where My Dogs At and Aggronuts plugs). Looks like they stopped posting on it awhile ago. I’m surprised it took this long for it to pop up.

11/29/08  3:26pm

This is very sad– scripture taken out of context and a very loud minority that seems to be considered the majority.

11/30/08  12:25am
OM says:

…Besides, kids: if God/Yahweh/Roddenberry hates cartoons, then imagine the tortures of the damned that Davey, Goliath and Jot are going through right at this very moment!

11/30/08  2:16pm
Rick says:

It’s a parody, took 5 seconds to check the links.

Though media does seem to hate families. Why is it the average kid in a fantasy story lost their mother or both parents? Not just Disney, but everything from Star Wars (poor Padme losing the will to live) to Harry Potter to Batman to Lemony Snicket to any Disney Princess?

Yeah, you can talk about the Brothers Grimm influence on the classical stuff like Cinderella, but it doesn’t cover Mulan or Spiderwick Chronicles or… you get the idea.

And even worse, how intellectually lazy is it to attack Christianity these days and think it’s oh so clever and funny? That’s as tiresome as the no-family trope.

12/1/08  8:39am
Daniel J. Drazen says:

I don’t know if the site is a fake or not, but the print counterparts over the years have been flat serious. Crackpot classics such as “Turmoil in the Toy Box” and “Saturday Morning Mind Control” have specialized in this stuff, claiming that “He-Man and Masters of the Universe” is blasphemy, “Dungeons and Dragons” is satanic, and the Care Bears are a stalking horse for the New Age movement. In short, they take cartoons more seriously than the people who made them.

12/3/08  8:50am
Christian says:

I’m figuring the site is fake but as a Christian (who only coincidentally happens to be named “Christian”) I was reminded too much of when I went to see Bolt recently and after a preview of Coraline the mother/7-yr. old daughter duo behind me said, “We’re not going to see that. That’s *inappropriate*,” in a very condescending, holier-than-thou sort of way. Kind of ruined the rest of the theatrical experience for me that day.

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