Best. Song. Ever. Best. Song. Ever.
Music Videos

Best. Song. Ever.

It’s too bad You Feets To Big had to be removed from You Tube. In it’s place we present, direct from the aforementioned Beijing Shijingshan Amusement Park, the scariest music video we’ve ever seen. If you thought It’s A Small World was annoying…

(Thanks, Lev Polyakov)

  • ………………… Oh dear god…

  • rorschach

    Songs To Go Insane By. Thanks CB! :P

  • i don’t care what anyone says…

    it’s better than rap

  • It burns!!!!

  • Holy cow. That’s “Johnny Verbeck” (or Rebeck or Dunderbeck), the turn-of-the-century drinking song about the cat- and dog-meat butcher with his marvelous sausage machine. I’d know the melody anywhere, though the meter has been altered somewhat.

    (Comparison: it’s also in the Oswald Rabbit cartoon COLLEGE, where you can hear it during the sports sequence.) “She gave the crank a heck of a yank— and Johnny Verbeck was meat!”

  • Kris

    Okay, I have no idea what to say to that.

  • What’s scary is that there are no boys in the video…

  • Well, it’s still not quite as insane as Leonard Nimoy’s “Ballad of Bilbo Baggins” music video.

  • Anne

    Wow…I always wondered if somewhere, a horde of small children in plaid shirts were laughing at me. Now, I know the truth.

  • Chris Sobieniak

    Well that was just silly (can’t really use the “R” word on this one). It’s a lot better than the efforts of a 12 year old to put together an AMV on his PC through MovieMaker (I hate amateurs). Not so much a real song as more a silly children’s jokey sort of thing (who hasn’t tried to impressed someone they got a 100 that way).

    Of course, any substitution isn’t complete without HEINO (sadly he just retired last year)!

  • Don’t be hatin’!

    That was funny…of course I’m only saying that because I’m already using hazardous waste material to cleanse my eardrums of that song.

  • Chris

    The anthem of evil children everywhere! (I’ve heard it many times.)

  • ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha,ha ha.

    i love it!

  • I don’t care what you say – four cute little Chinese girls shaking their little pigtailed noggins is just adorable!

    (I just watched it twice in a row – so there.)

  • Bugsmer

    Now I can speak Chinese like a native. Thanks, Joel, for introducing me to Leonard Nimoy singing.


    Uhhh Let’s just hope it doesn’t really take off in this country… I’d lose my mind. There coming to take me away..ha ha hee ho ho…etc…

  • Chris Sobieniak

    > Uhhh Let’s just hope it doesn’t really take off in this country… I’d lose my mind. There coming to take me away..ha ha hee ho ho…etc…

    Worst I can expect is a YTMND made of it if it hasn’t already! :-)

    Another good song substitution I could recommend is this (though I probably stated it before and forgot about it, but there’s WAY too many YouTubers who’d stuck it up now, it’ll take a long while for them all to be removed as far as I’m concerned)…

    Surprised this isn’t on the Halas & Batchelor book’s DVD (but I guess that was a different matter over rights and such). It’s Just another one of those things that used to get played up the wazoo back in the day and I could recite the lyrics endlessly in my sleep!

  • David’s right! I’ve heard “Johnny Verbeck” millions of times, though not as a “drinking song”…it is actually a popular Boy Scout tune! But yeah, that’s definitely the tune. Guess China knows no end to swiping American culture!

  • The ha ha ha part is from an old English music hall song called The Laughing Policeman, a song still well known here.

  • While we’re on the subject, here’s a music video featuring Superman and Spiderwoman (Bollywood style)

  • “The Laughing Policeman”, for anyone who cares, can be found here

  • Every time you fall flat on your face, lose your job or get dumped, theses creepy girls will be there, laughing at you with their heads jerking back and forth like processed dolls. From a distance they look like animatronics when they wobble about like that.

    One of the girls at 00:43 has a disturbingly large mouth, like it was super imposed on her face, almost like something from Clutch Cargo, or is it just me?

  • This reminds me of … “HEE HAW!” Tell a joke, followed by a musical interlude, only using small Chinese children rather than American redneck caricatures.

    Vaudeville isn’t dead, it just took a slow boat to China.

  • Larry T

    The post should be entitled, “Why Hallowe’en 3: Season of the Witch” was not that far away from the truth.

    Now I feel like wearing cheap sneakers.

  • joe s

    nelson munch where are you?

  • John A

    Take a good look at your future overlords America, when China finally decides to collect on all the debt sold to them by the Bush administration.

  • Scares me! Some people out there will get a kick out of it! Not good.

  • wundermild

    Chris Sobeniak: Heino has announced his comeback. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha etc. etc. etc.

  • Ryan W. Mead

    These gags sound like they belong in old comic strips. China still has a way to go if their humor will match that of the West.

  • Larry T

    I also forgot to mention, those “7 Dwarfs” knockoffs also look really creepy- they look like the illegitimate childrens of the real dwarves and a Smurf.

    In one scene the girl’s laughing at how cheaply they are made by pointing at it and working it into her routine….

    If you can stand to watch it again, take a look at the one child who is standing by another “dwarf” laughing. As she laughs, the thing wobbles beside her….and this it out in the middle of a park where kids jump all over these things??? A good storm and it would be lying on top of one of them…..eeek.

  • Zaki

    Oh god.

    I’ve seen crap like this in my country of Malaysia. It’s a huge industry here & certain parts of East Asia: precocious, pre-packaged little girl bands with no intention by Chinese recording companies other than looking cute, making money, doting to Chinese grannies, and annoying the bejesus out of you. What’s wackier is that these “bands” are named after anything to do with luck, prosperity & cute put together.

    Now you Americans just noticed it? The sick, sad phenomena we in East Asia have to put up for many decades since the Disco era? Where was NATO & the UN when this happened?

    Here’s an article from my local English newspaper describing one of these kinds of “girl bands�. Well, the vid ain’t sung by the Qiao Qian Jian, but the article might be your first step for finding out about one of the Chinese music industry’s subgenres.

    The Four Golden Princesses are responsible for this abomination.

    These girls are from Malaysia, and every Chinese New Year, they release albums for that occassion, alongside other younger, cuter, more sickeningly sweet girl bands.

    You can find their website here:

    Apparently the girls have grown up, and still making music. Send your regards to them. I’ve found another “insight� from a blogger from two ago years commenting on one of the Chinese girl bands:

    Spoiler warning: Look out for the Teletubbies comparison. It’s not a shot in a barrel. It’s a money-making industry.They’re like those idol singers in Japan, where manufactured, prefab groups are spawned, make forgettable, cutesy music and fade out like that.

  • Chris Sobieniak

    Thanks Zaki for setting the record straight on what most of us probably haven’t cared to know. East Asia just never learns!

  • Zaki

    You’re welcome.

  • ed

    its just me, or anyone else thinks this looks like an aphex twin video??!

  • Tom

    It’s Great!
    ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!