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Eisner’s New Mouse

Bazooka Mouse

“Bazooka Joe is my new Mickey Mouse.” – Michael Eisner

Story at USA Today, analysis at Mayerson on Animation.

(via The Beat)

  • What a loser.

  • Sean D.

    “Still, aside from Harry Potter, “Most of the characters of the big-event movies made in the last couple of years (including Spider-Man, X-Men, and Superman) were created in comic books 30, 40, or 50 years ago,â€? Eisner notes.

    “I’m hoping that Bazooka Joe has that same little piece of your brain, or somebody’s brain. And if it doesn’t, it’ll just be a good movie and we’ll create a new emotion around it.�

    What the heck? Doesn’t Mr. Eisner realize that those comic characters he’s mentioning are players in great and lasting stories that have spent decades working out their kinks? Bazooka Joe has no story and even less appeal (not to mention his name and image are closely associated with a mediocre product).

    Good luck with all that…

  • Ron

    This doesn’t worry me. Eisner’s done all he’s gonna do to the entertainment industry. I don’t think anyone’s takes him seriously anymore. This is like when Hulk Hogan changed his name to “Hollywood” to remake his image. Remember that? I didn’t think so….

  • top cat james

    Not to be outdone, DreamWorks has a “Little Debbie” movie in the works.

  • How are they going to explain his missing eye in the cartoon?

  • Were the rights to the zebra from Fruit Stripe unobtainable?

  • Tom Pope

    Yeahhhhh…. reaching a little bit there maybe, Mike. Sounds like an idea a couple of over-forty-year old drinking buddies came up with as a lark. Don’t put every last cent into this. Brings back memories of the barber shop when I was six, though.

  • tom

    What a mousehole.

    He is no friend of Joe’s or Mickey’s.

  • Is there no shark tank for this man to jump into? (There’s certainly no point in trying to jump over it anymore.)

  • hahhaha. and this is the idiot who ran disney. no wonder disney is in such bad shape as it is.

  • Paco

    Most pirates weared eye patches so they could fight in the dark not because they had lost an eye. in case anyone was wondering.

  • Uh – why doesn’t he change the quality of the gum so kids won’t break their teeth on it?

    I agree with Adam…except maybe Dreamworks should go for it to strengthen the “Madagascar” possibilities. Chris Rock the Fruit Stripe Zebra? Why not?

  • Bubs

    “I never understand the comics that come in this bubble gum. I mean, the first frame is some guy saying,{he unfolds the comic and shows it to you} “Look out, the sky is falling!” And the second frame is some guy getting hit on the head with a rock {he unfolds the comic and shows it to you again. The second frame is captioned “Fortune: The rock hit the guy in the sweater”}. And I’m sitting there going, “What the heck just happened?”, and before I know it, I swallowed my bubble gum!”

    From http://www.homestarrunner.com/halloween2001.html

  • Baron Lego

    So… can we expect a Bazooka Joe full-length, CGI movie at some point? And in said film, will the characters flip feet-up into the air upon hearing the punchlines to lame jokes (perhaps with an added Matrix-style, rotating camera special effect)?

    I can’t wait.

  • And Robin Williams can be the star that voices Bazooka Joe!

  • Spock Foolish

    From the man who brought us that other milestone in candy-based entertainment, “Gummi Bears”.

  • FP

    If it’s done exactly in the style of the comics, with the addition of gore and “adult” humor, this could be great. Get Bob Burden, Mike Allred, Tony Millionaire or the AQUA TEEN guys to write it. Soundtrack score by The Residents!

    It would be even cooler if Eisner produced a BAZONGA JOE movie, based on the National Lampoon comic strip from a 1970s issue of the magazine.

    Meanwhile, Eisner claims the current writers strike is stupid.

  • Steve Gattuso

    “And Robin Williams can be the star that voices Bazooka Joe!”

    Silly person. It has to be an action star, like Jean Claude Van Damme.

  • Steph’

    If Eisner was smart, he would’ve gone Topps-less.
    Very sad considering what an ugly takeover that was.

  • red pill junkie

    “There’s no reason why there can’t be Topps movies, Topps Internet, Topps television, Topps miniseries and Topps publications,” he says. “It’s all about sports and sports stories.”

    How about Topps chewable CONDOMS then? :-)

  • Dock Miles

    Next Up — PUD.

  • Jason Humphrey

    If Eisner were half the marketing genius he considers himself, he’d have bought the Fleer Bubble Gum Company, whose cartoon mascot was the immortal Pud the Kid. Only then would the world have seen “Michael Eisner’s Pud.” Imagine the publicity: “Be the first on your block to see Eisner’s Pud!”

  • Chuck R.

    When I was in college, a friend told me that with my combination of wit and artistic skills, I was fully qualified to work for Bazooka Joe comics.
    I’m just now beginning to feel offended.

  • “Not to be outdone, DreamWorks has a “Little Debbieâ€? movie in the works.”


    I grew up reading those little comics. With the right redesign and story, heck. You never know. Plus, he had an intriguing friend that always had his sweater pulled up over his face..I mean if that’s not a classic sidekick waiting to happen.

    I suspect they might want to take a more modern, live action teen oriented spin..judging by the content on their website. Perhaps the guy version of Bratz??

  • Daniel

    Hey, what ever happened to creating new characters? I remember people used to do that once… yeah, like, one person was really all you needed to make a lovable icon back in the day, now we need upwards of 20 businessmen to accomplish that task and often times the character doesn’t even have an ounce of charisma.

    I guess we’ve finally gotten to the point where they’ve decided that not even creating characters by committee is profitable. Now they just try and mine older, mediocre characters in the hopes that nostalgia will be enough to sell them.

  • “From the man who brought us that other milestone in candy-based entertainment, ‘Gummi Bears’.”

    You, sir, fail.


  • What’s next? Good n’ Plenty’s Choo-Choo Charlie?

  • Inkan1969

    I was just the official website http://www.bazookajoe.com – Man, you have to search for the tiny type word “bazooka” on the top right, and then click on the “comics” on the top left of the next window just to find anything about Bazooka Joe. According to the website. “And the eyepatch? Don’t worry. It’s just his style.”

  • The eye patch is just a fashion accessory? WHEW! And I was so worried he had gotten is eye gouged out in a hunting accident.

    And the soccor moms of the world breathe a sigh of relief.

  • You know who should voice Bazooka Joe? STEVEN SEAGAL!

    Why? He needs the work.

    Plus, Chuck Norris is busy with “Dodgeball 2”.

  • The vanguard CEO of cultural strip-mining has spoken. Here’s ultimate proof (as if we needed it) that at the apex of Eisner’s name-recognition wet dream we find the ultimate nadir in bad taste. Pink, chewy stick-to-the-bottom-of-yer-shoe gummy badness.

    Why couldn’t he just launch a new reality show about himself and Roy Disney adrift on a raft in the Bermuda Triangle? I’d watch that.

  • Pedro Nakama

    Who will they cast as Mort?

  • Spock Foolish

    Sunni said: “You, sir, fail.”

    Well, you know what they say. One man’s unwatchable crap is another man’s warm, fuzzy childhood memory.

  • sudiegirl: “You know who should voice Bazooka Joe? STEVEN SEAGAL!”

    My vote is for Arnold Stang!

  • Jorge Garrido

    I think Bazooka Joe could work in shorts, with anyone BUT Eisner running the show.

    I have a fondness for him and Pud.

  • Mr. P

    You know how to make a bubble with Bazooka Joe don’t you?

  • Chris Sobieniak

    Is it OK to kill myself? (a far better joke than this one) :-)

    Really, I just can’t see a movie working either way to something that didn’t live up to childhood memories for me outside the small wax wrappers they came from.

    Rather someone make a “Buster Brown” anime instead! :-:P

  • “From the man who brought us that other milestone in candy-based entertainment, ‘Gummi Bears’.â€?

    What is wrong with the gummi bears? They’re cute!

  • Mike Fontanelli

    The artist who created the BAZOOKA JOE characters was named Wesley Morse – I just thought I’d mention that, since no one else bothered to.

    I doubt Eisner even knows the artist’s name, (or cares, being the corporate swine that he is) – but I was frankly surprised to see the same degree of contempt coming from the cartoonists and animators who frequent this blog.

    Morse was an “underground” cartoonist before that term even existed, having worked on countless Tijuana Bibles in the 1930’s and ’40’s. (There’s a short section on him in a brand new Last Gasp artbook called CLEAN CARTOONISTS’ DIRTY DRAWINGS by Craig Yoe. Yoe reproduces some cute, highly appealing cartoon drawings of chorus girls – all done by Morse.)

    BAZOOKA JOE – one of the most widely-read comics in the world – had panels that were designed to be clearly legible on a one-inch square slip of wax paper – no mean feat, when you think about it. I’ve always found his simple character designs charming, especially compared to the awful “updated” designs that Topps used to replace Morse’s comics with when the original gang was retired in the ’80’s.

  • Adri

    Ugh, I hate that man so much.

  • top cat james

    That “Garbage Pail Kids” movie Topps put out back in the 80’s didn’t do so well as I recall.

  • Larry T

    Just another media mogul with too much money who is grasping at straws of memories of a childhood he never even had.

    Who will they cast as Mort?

    Frankie Muniz.

  • Chris Sobieniak

    > top cat james says:
    > That “Garbage Pail Kids� movie Topps put out back in the 80’s didn’t do so well as I recall.

    Just be thankful America was spared of the Saturday Morning cartoon CBS bothered to produce but saw the light of day in places like Sweden.

  • Hasn’t he got enough money?

    Really. No one cares what he does. He’s not a creative, although he seems to think he is.

    I always was weirded out by Bazooka Joe, and the gum was inedible, but the comics made good props for dolls. Otherwise, they were quite useless.

  • Chris Sobieniak

    Heh, I remember the days when the comics would have one tiny space leftover for some stupid gimmick of forcing you go send away enough comics to get some cruddy T-shirt! I don’t know if they’ll do that again, but Topps apparently started sticking gum back in their baseball cards again so anything’s possible!

  • >>>

    I’d like to reiterate Mike Fontannelli’s observations…and a “thank you” to him for bringing the discussion around to the unsung artist behind the eye patch! One thing that may come of all this is a broader awareness of who Wesley Morse was as an artist, and his importance to comics history.

    Anyone interested in finding out more, as well as get a look at the only published photograph of him…Please visit my website…and keep your one good eye peeled for the official Wesley Morse website coming soon!

  • BJ Wanlund

    Eisner needs to go die in a field somewhere…

  • Steve Carras

    “Ed Graham Productions” got much more out of a cereal-shillin’ lion (Linus) than Mike Eisner (thankfully deposed from Disney) ever will out of some kid on a bubble gum wrapper.

  • Talley Morse

    Thank you, Mike Fontennelli for bothering to mention my dad, Wesley Morse, in connection with Bazooka Joe. Without Wesley there would have been no Bazooka Joe as we knew him. I say “knew” because Joe’s current rendering is dreadful.

    And thank you to my friend, Kirk Taylor, for singing Wesley’s praises. As Kirk said, there will be a website coming soon on Wesley and his artwork, which went way beyond Bazooka Joe and the infamous 8-pagers. We’ll even give you a glimpse of the original Joe before he became a blond-headed kid with an eyepatch. My dad used me as his inspiration, so you could say I’m the original Bazooka Joe.