He-Man’s Five Gayest Adventures

When it comes to the classic Filmation television series, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, it’s not much of a stretch to find homoerotic subtext in its ham-fisted dialogue and hyper-masculine, brutish-ness. However, there are times in the sci-fi hero’s quest to fight the forces of evil with his “fabulous secret powers” that it seems to move beyond mere inadvertent sexual suggestion and right into “oh, that’s just gay” territory. Here are five of He-Man’s gayest moments.

1. “The Cosmic Comet”

In the very first episode of He-Man: MOTU, titled “The Cosmic Comet”, the evil Skeletor harnesses the power of a wandering comet that, ever since its mate was accidentally destroyed, has grown bitter and evil. Under the sorcerer’s control, the comet attempts to stop a self-deprecating old wizard called The Comet Keeper from rebuilding its destroyed lover by attacking him with genital-less, ‘roided out rock men. He-Man wrestles with the evil comet long enough for his friends to fill the new one with their love, defeating Skeletor and enabling the happy couple to once again travel the galaxy in harmony. And just when you think this storyline couldn’t be more of a head-scratcher, you discover that both of the comets are actually male.

2. “Quest for He-Man”

In the “Quest For He-Man”, our hero falls through a rainbow colored time corridor and into the environmentally devastated world of Trannis where he encounters Plundor the Spoiler. A lisping, rabbit-headed captain of industry with an unexplained penchant for polluting the seas and killing off his planet’s wildlife, Plundor is immediately enamored by the “powerful looking brute” and offers to make “great use of his muscles”. He-Man politely turns him down in a way that only he can: by straddling Plundor’s “liquid filled” rocket and riding it into the stratosphere. Literally.

3. Any appearance of Duncan, Man-at-Arms

Ok, this is example is pretty general, but we’re including the overall presence of Duncan, aka Man-At-Arms, the royal family’s master of weapons. A middle-aged man with bare midriff armor, a Seventies ‘stache and nothing better to do than go on long trips with Prince Adam and keep his secrets? The whole thing reeks of human growth hormone, a secret past and late night slap-and-tickle in the darkened corridors of Castle Grayskull.

4. “The Laughing Dragon”

In He-Man: MOTU’s sister series, She-Ra: Princess of Power, She-Ra, in an episode titled “The Laughing Dragon”, encounters a socially put upon Dragon named Sorrowful. With hopes of recruiting his help against the Horde army, the show’s token male, Bow tries to intimidate the tormented reptile into finding its courage. However, even the bullied beast can’t help but mock the archer, who has inexplicably chosen to wear a belted pink frock, with limp-wristed jabs at Bow’s masculinity. An anti-bullying episode, where even the bullied bullies someone else for being different? As you can see, Bow’s catty companion, Kowl is not impressed.

5. “Fisto’s Forest”

And lastly, I draw your attention to an episode called “Fisto’s Forest”. He-Man & Co. is called to help some forest people whose diminutive leader, the Elf Lord, has been imprisoned by a bushy bearded bully named Fisto. Fisto, whose name can’t help but bring to mind vats of aqueous cream and neoprene gloves, is killing off their crops by using his over-sized metal fist to create a blockage in the river. The whole situation is only made more vivid by Fisto’s choice to douse his opponents with a sticky white goo as a means to subdue them.


  • hotdogface

    Fisto… Really Filmation?

    • http://twitter.com/ChriSobieniak Chris Sobieniak

      Is it no wonder I survived the 80′s?

  • http://beesbuzz.biz/ fluffy

    So is this site just turning into cracked.com and/or CollegeHumor?

    • ZZDas

      What’s happening with CartoonBrew?
      From an animation reference site to a let’s-share-our-weird-and-not-so-important-links…Not cool
      It’s really important for the animation community to know the “He-Man’s Five Gayest Adventures” ? And ain’t that a little homophobic?

      • JeanbearTheImmasculator

        Gay is not a bad word. If the adventure is gay then it’s gay. They aren’t using the term to mean bad or lame. They are using it in the literal sense.

        • m(_ _)m

          Haha, fisting, that’s what gays do! Haha, I mean, doesn’t this guy just look like a homo? Come on, bare midriff armor? That’s just so typical of what gays wear! He’s “riding his rocket,” dude, it’s gay sex! Come on, he’s riding a lisping rabbits rocket, the gayness is through the roof! So typical gay.

        • ZZDas

          I can understand that but even if i remove the “homophobic” i still don’t think this kind of post belong here unless CB it’s trying to be something else then it was, either way..it’s running out of its trail

          • Lloyd Toronto

            It’s He-Man’s Five “Happiest” Moments

      • otterhead

        As a gay man: No, this isn’t homophobic. It’s fun and made me chuckle, because man, that’s a gay show.

  • http://www.facebook.com/stephen.persing Stephen Persing

    April Fool…

  • Marvin

    Yet Filmation content was always deemed wholesome by educational experts back in the day.

    • Jason

      Seems fine to me since there’s nothing wrong with being gay. Except for that Fisto one, that’s just weird. Also maybe that rocket one…Alright maybe you have a point.

  • Nik

    I don’t care if it’s “April Fools Day,” crap posts like this are making this site gay.

    • Funkybat

      Next thing you know, people will be calling out whatever random topic they don’t like seeing posted, saying “______ is the cancer that is killing CB.”

  • http://twitter.com/ILikePetsDaily I Like Pets Daily

    Cool. It only takes a minute to get into “okaayyy…” territory:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQhnIQLgq10

  • MRKid

    As a (heterosexual) kid who grew up loving that show (that along with GI Joe, Thundercats, etc), none of these things ever seemed weird. These were just simple fun superhero stories. This write-ups a waste of Cartoon Brew space. Do these guys get paid to write this stuff?

  • Ness

    I know it’s April Fools…but I’m sure there are much funnier ways to prank the readers than at the expense of a marginalized group.

    • Axolotl

      Cartoon muscle men aren’t marginalized, we treat them very well. They’re separate but equal.

  • jhalpernkitcat

    How did a name like “Fisto” get approved of? It doesn’t help that “Fisto’s Forest” sounds like a good name for a porno.

    • Funkybat

      It may be hard to recall (or before your time) but in the 70s and 80s, a lot of words and terms that are seen as double-entendres or just plain vulgar these days were just normal terms, at least to us unsophisticated suburbanites. Hell, in the early 60s it was totally straight for the theme of the Flintstones to declare that “we’ll have a gay old time!” even though “gay” was most certainly in use to mean homosexual in many adult social circles.

      Today’s culture always makes the most prurient or sexual meaning of a word the #1 choice, relegating previous usages to “historical” in the dictionary, but even in the 80s you could name a character “Fisto” and NO ONE would think it was in any way sexual. And it’s not like us 80s kids were incurious about sex, but the idea of fists being involved wasn’t even on our radar!

  • JodyMorgan

    It’s a shame they couldn’t have gotten Graham Chapman to perform a voice in some of these episodes…

  • Shazbot

    There was always something about the He-Man toons that repulsed me. Thanks for bringing my half-formed pre-adolescent uneasiness into frightening focus. :P

  • Shazbot

    Indeed. Lighten up, people. Hypersensitive reactionaries who yell “homophobe” remind me of nuns with rulers.

  • http://scannedlife.com/ Sean Godsey

    Please don’t start making list articles cartoon brew that’s for the lesser websites

    • AmidAmidi

      Here’s a list of three feelings I have about your comment.
      1.) Contemplation.
      2.) Sadness.
      3.) Listlessness.

      • http://scannedlife.com/ Sean Godsey

        What?

        This is your website right? I consider it something that’s great and awesome and I check it daily. To me list articles signify lazy writing, especially ones that explore dick and semen innuendos.

        As a fan I guess I can only beg that the site doesn’t put a lot of stock into this kind of original content.

        • CG_Animator

          Amid’s Joke + Your Head = WOOSH.

          • http://scannedlife.com/ Sean Godsey

            I get it he made a list. And yeah Funkybat I agree, list articles are way overdone I’d rather one of my favorite sites not join the trend.

        • Funkybat

          While this “article” was amusing to me, I have to chime in on this as well. I see these kinds of “Top # ____ of ______” kind of articles to be more than a little too prevalent online these days. Cracked does them well but at this point they overdo them. Quality before quantity is a worthy axiom.

  • http://www.webstoodstupid.com/ XxxxxVicxxxxX

    Whilst I agree with the majority of what you say,”Campest” adventures may have been better.”Gayest” just smacks of something a 14 year-old troll would say.
    Also,I’m all for more fun articles on the site but we are lacking quite a lot of actual animation these days…Still:Fisto…heheheh

  • kadecando

    Calling He-man or especially She-ra ‘gay’ seems a bit homophobic considering how involved Erika Scheimer was in the production.

    I get that it’s a joke but perhaps Cartoon Brew could find something else to bash other than 80′s cartoons, especially a cartoon that while silly, kept plenty of good paying animation jobs in the US.

  • cartoonguy

    Why doesn’t cartoon brew write about what’s relevant, like how homophopic the animation community really is. That’s an article that I would love to read and one know one ever mentions are talks about.

    • Disneyartist

      We celebrate “Women in animation”, and “Black’s in animation”, why dont you focus on celebrating the gay men who contribute to this art form? Why is there never any mention of that?

  • Marc Baker

    As much as I like He-Man, I have to agree that the so called ‘gay subtext’ is quite jarring. The Nostalgia Critic makes this very clear in some of his videos.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Carras/100001249396142 Steve Carras

    Look…this was started 4/1. April Fool!!

  • Raven Molisee

    Hm. This place has gotten really strange all of a sudden.

  • FattiesOn2s

    As a gay man working in animation, it is a bit sad to come to my favorite industry blog and see something like this. As if we don’t already have a problem with gay stereotyping in animation.

    Fisto IS hilarious, though.

    Just do a post about how Norman McLaren was living as an openly gay man in the 50s and we’re square. Amid, I’m looking at you.

    • AmidAmidi

      A post about Norman McLaren…now there’s an idea!

  • visitor

    With the power of gayskull…