Birds and Clem Birds and Clem

Monday, July 19, 2004

I was enjoying a pleasant morning walk around the pond, minding my own business, when some noisy, nasty bird tried to shit on me. It hovered over my head, shrieking, while it sprayed out a stream of excreta. I jumped out of the way, and was struck by only the tiny spot shown below on my shoulder. In no way do I blame the fine people of Iceland for the inhospitable attitude of their wildlife.

After rinsing my shirt off I go to the office, where I acquaint the lovely Script Supervisor, Thora Clausen, with my hideous hillbilly alter ego Clem. Clem appears when I put a pair of dentures in my mouth that disfigure my face and shut off my brain I’m sure he’ll cause an international incident while I’m in Iceland.

I can hardly wait.

Ken Pontac,
Breathing through my mouth,


Jerry Beck