Marvel at the mind-numbing unfunniness of the latest cartoon-turned-live bomb FAT ALBERT. The most telling example of what passes for humor in this film is when a character asks Dumb Donald why he wears a knit-cap over his head, and the character proceeds to offer an explanation. How about this for an explanation: IT’S A FUCKING CARTOON! Give it a break, Hollywood. Stop turning cartoons into shitty live-action movies and then creating logical reasons for why the cartoon characters don’t look right in live-action. Audiences stopped laughing at this type of lameness sometime in the mid-’90s when John Goodman humiliated himself as Fred Flintstone. Dumb Donald wears a damn knit cap over his head because he’s a cartoon character, and I’m not forking over ten bucks to have some ex-SIMPSONS writer tell me otherwise. I can’t wait for the live-action ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS where some two-bit screenwriter is bound to make a crack about whether Alvin wears pants under his long shirt. Perhaps FAT ALBERT’s only saving grace will be its animated segments (under the able supervision of Bert Klein) which I hear are looking quite good. Too bad the animation crew couldn’t work on a project deserving of their time, effort and talent.