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Three Crappy Stories That’ll Ruin Your Monday Morning

Arnold Schwarzenegger

1. 3D Ruins Regular Movies Too
The Boston Globe published a damning exposé about irresponsible theater chains like AMC, National Amusements, and Regal that often leave the 3D projector lenses on for 2D movies, thereby dimming regular movies and draining them of color to the point where they can’t be enjoyed. So why don’t they just switch the lenses on the Sony digital projectors you ask? How about DRM foul-ups:

James Bond, a Chicago-based projection guru who serves as technical expert for Roger Ebert’s Ebertfest, said issues with the Sonys are more than mechanical. Opening the projector alone involves security clearances and Internet passwords, “and if you don’t do it right, the machine will shut down on you.” The result, in his view, is that often the lens change isn’t made and “audiences are getting shortchanged.”

2. Fake Indian Animation Schools
Times of India reports about an epidemic of fly-by-night animation schools in India. Over 10,000 students have been suckered by these schools with the promise of receiving a quality education and jobs:

Anshuman Kaushik, who took admission in 2D animation in Nupur Media, which collaborated with Jawaharlal Nehru Technological University said that he paid Rs 1.6 lakh for the 10-month course which the company terminated after the first six months. “There were 30 students in the class. Just before the company shut down, about 15 students were given offer letters by Nupur Media House. Later we realised that the company was not even registered,” said Kaushik who is now planning to take a regular course in animation from a reputed university.

3. Arnold’s Cartoon Probably Still Happening
After it was revealed that California’s inept ex-governor Arnold Schwarzenegger was producing little Latino-American Arnolds with women that were not his wife, the producers of the Governator animated series announced that they “have chosen to not go forward with the Governator project.” That seemed like a prudent and responsible decision by the production companies, until they issued a revised statement that read, “In light of recent events, A Squared Entertainment, POW, Stan Lee Comics, and Archie Comics, have halted production.” Subtle wording change, but big difference. What they’re really saying is, “We’re probably still going to make this show even though Arnold is an awful role model for kids, but we’ll just wait until the whole affair business blows over.” Of course, they’ll have to make some minor changes to the original idea, which according to Stan Lee, would have used “all the personal elements of Arnold’s life. We’re using his wife. We’re using his kids.”

(Thanks, Karl Cohen, for the India link)

  • Um… “Little Mexican Arnolds”?
    That kid is 1) blameless and 2) a U.S. Citizen, as far as I know.

    • amid

      Fixed! Thanks, Fran.

      • David Breneman

        In what way is changing the text from “Little Mexican Arnolds” to “little Hispanic-American Arnolds” a “fix”? So, Ahnowd has his own Sally Hemmings. Would you say Jefferson was producing “Little Black Thomases?”

      • “Making babies with the hired help” might be a better way to word it.

  • I’d be curious to hear more of this 3D “lens”.

    The lens that focuses the image on the screen for 3D ought to be the same as for 2D; the same electronic image display is being projected from the same spot in the projector to the same screen in both uses. The glass optics should be identical.

    A electronic polarizing filter in front of the lens rapidly switches the projected light’s polarization in synch with the rapidly alternated left and right views that are displayed by the projector.

    from :

    “The format to be employed by Disney with the digital 3D presentation of Chicken Little was developed by Real-D. This format employs the combination of image pre-processing, an LCD-shuttered polarizing filter in front of the projection lens, a silver screen to maintain light polarization, and passive polarized glasses worn by the audience.”

    This polarizing filter is built to be easily flipped out of the way when not needed.

    No “opening of the projector” should be needed.

    I’d be curious to hear more of an explanation about this 3D “lens”.

    • Steve Gattuso

      They may be using a different model projector than the Sony one. As for Sony being DRM-tarded, that’s par for their course.

      (Though I wouldn’t be shocked if the things could be hacked. Everything else Sony’s build can.)

  • Isaac

    Arnold Schwarzenegger isn’t an awful role model for kids. At worst, he’s a flawed role model, but still a very good one.

    • Paul M

      I agree. I can’t wait to see the animated version of recent headlines in a cartoon superhero context, which would be all the more amusing if his soon-to-be-ex wife and kids are still in on the project . Perhaps his ‘toon self can just blow his bastard son away, the way he handles most of his problems on the big screen. I can already hear him say “Hasta la vista, baby”.

  • J.m

    there’s a difference between Mexican and Hispanic
    and this woman is not mexican just a self hating hispanic I think she is from Guatemala.
    Anyways do your research well before u label.

    ps: I’m not posting this because I’m hispanic ,in fact I’m not.

  • snip2354

    Wow. These DO ruin my Monday morning! “We’re using his wife”? “We’re using his kids”?! Aren’t those the two things the scandal is all about?! Way to skid past the reasons for why the show as “halted” in the first place!

    • Jonah

      I’m pretty sure that statement was made before all the excitement in Arnold’s life as of late.

  • Bert Bowen

    Why does Arnold look more like Steve Edwards than himself in that photo?

  • Jimbo2K7

    I thought it was the filtering effect of the glasses that dims 3D images. They appear plenty bright, albeit blurry, without the glasses.

    • Researching this some more… According to this SONY presentation, their system is a simultaneous (non-alternating) over-and-under dual image that DOES require a different lens (two actually).

      “Ten minutes to change out” they say.

      To leave that on for a regular 2D movie sounds unlikely unless the projector has a mode to put the 2D image on both the “over” and “under” halves. Possible, but that would result in more illumination on the screen, not less.

      However, the description in the above SONY presentation is at odds with what is reported in the article:

      “…for 3-D showings a special lens is installed in front of a Sony digital projector that rapidly alternates the two polarized images needed for the 3-D effect to work.”

      I think some element of the original story has been misreported.

  • Amid – you have some pretty low expectations if this kind of stuff is going to ruin your day…

  • Klyph

    The worst thing about these three stories in my eyes is that someone with the last name Bond decided to name their child James.

    • Scott B.

      I thought that was the coolest thing about these stories.

    • Ted

      Dr. No (the movie) came out less than 50 years ago. Plenty of time to have been born before the phenomenon swept away the ability for it to be a normal name.
      In the event projectionist Bond was born after the phenomenn made the name questionable, there’s still the possibility it’s a family name:
      “My dad died. I want to name our son after him.”
      “You seriously want to name him James Bond?”
      “Honey, my dad _died_.”

      • droosan

        FWIW, Ian Fleming picked the name “James Bond” for his spy character precisely because he considered it an unassuming, plain, ‘everyday’ name.

    • Maddog

      That would be an awesome name to have! :D

  • dbenson

    One hopes that Stan Lee or somebody else involved will notice those “Father of the Pride” series sets that still haunt the bins, count their blessings and cut their losses now, while they can put a respectable face on it.

  • Number 1. is why I hardly go to theaters any more – that and the ridiculous cost.

    Apparently, properly projecting a movie is too complicated for the three-year-old kids who staff and manage the places.

  • So how is “The Governator” not working out bad news? That show looked like 80s’ cheese (which is the point, but seriously don’t we get enough of that already with films like “The Expendables?”).

    Also, does anybody else find it ironic that the projection guru’s name is James Bond?

    • The bad news tedzey, is that the Governator series WILL likely still go ahead, as Amid suggested. It’s not canned, just on hold.

      They should take the opportunity to turn it into a an adult show and make it a satire (because it’s going to be laughable either way).

  • Steve Gattuso

    1. Hardly a shock. Sony’s attitude towards tech has always been uber-proprietary and designed with unfriendly user interfaces. And after the big theater chains broke the projectionist union, their booths are staffed with either summer job teens or people too dumb to work as carnies.

    2. Also hardly a shock. India is hardly the only place trade school scams take place. (I’m looking at you, ITC Tech…)

    3. Three for three. Saving face from another dipstick’s overuse of his dipstick.

    • Sony acquired Sound Forge’s software a few years back, and since then it’s become increasingly less stable, its operation hampered by aggressive copy protection. And who could forget the famous Sony CD rootkit…

  • Wait.. James Bond?

  • cesar

    I’m glad the Armenian writer from the animation blog did his homework before writing the story about the little Mexican son Arnold had with the maid. Everyone knows all maids are Mexican, so what else could the kid be right?

  • Steven M.

    A bit late for my Monday to be ruined, but these are sure garanteed to cause depression in a man.

  • Mike

    I’m looking forward to the new Governator series showing on Fox’s Animation Domination Sunday line-up now.

  • AaronSch

    Sorry Amid, Arnold wasn’t nearly as inept as Gray Davis, who can claim the distinction of being the first governor of California, and second governor in American history, to be recalled. And Arnold is not nearly the joke that is the current governor Moonbeam, aka Jerry Brown. Truth be told, California’s entire government is inept. If California was a corporation, they would all be out of jobs and the state would be liquidated. But who would buy that cesspool? …but I digress.

  • Mike Cagle

    What’s up with the “producing little Latino-American Arnolds” comment?? How is the kid’s ethnicity relevant to anything??

    • Iritscen

      It’s relevant to being funny. Let’s not be over-sensitive.

  • Brandon Pierce

    That guy’s name is James Bond.

  • Regarding the fly-by-night animation schools, I’d like to note this isn’t exclusive to India. A classmate of mine came to study in Canada after a so-called Animation School in Israel vanished overnight with not just her tuition, but that of many others as well. This would have been in 2007 or 2008, I believe.

  • So Arnold wasn’t as inept as Gray Davis.

    Wow! I feel so much better now.

  • Martin Juneau

    The guru is called James Bond? Isn’t it serious, right? I guess that scene when his father giving that name. ^^;

  • victoria

    LOL at the fact no one seems to care about the fake Indian animation schools story

  • Austen Davis

    (Reads the post)

    You know, the rapture doesn’t sound so bad right about know.

  • Polecat

    I thought Fleming named the character after an ornithologist. I still have a Roger Tory Peterson field guide to Birds of the West Indies on my bookshelf. One day I noticed that the author’s name was James Bond and I cracked up. Then later I read somewhere that the fictional Bond was named after the bird-guide author.