Brew Review: ‘Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters’

I saw this film at a free screening today so you don’t have to. And I urge you not to.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters is, without question, the worst animated film of the year. It may be the worst film (of any type) I’ve ever seen. A text book example of an unfunny comedy, with poor production values, no craft, no art, no laughs, period. I’ve only seen one episode of the TV series, so I’m clearly not the intended audience for this. But who is? High school drop-outs on pot? I suspect there may be a 7-year-old out there who thinks this is the funniest film they’ve ever seen. If so, I’d be worried about that 7-year-old.

For those unfamiliar with the show, there’s really no premise. It’s about the relationship between three fast-food icons, Master Shake (an idiot milkshake cup), Frylock (a large side of french fries) and Meatwad (a stupid meatball). There is a whole load of unfunny side characters. In an effort to cram as much “funny” into the proceedings, every voice is “funny,” every character name is “funny,” every title card is “funny,” every action is “funny.” All this adds up to incredibly “un-funny.” For those who have been waiting for it, the origin of the characters is explained – and Space Ghost makes an unfortunate cameo (and is killed off quickly).

Needless to say, there’s a fart joke every ten minutes.

Is there anything I liked? The first two minutes, a spoof of the corny “Let’s All Go To The Lobby” trailers (again?) was fun, but after this pre-title skit, it’s all downhill. I also like the elaboratly painted one-sheet poster art (above), but that has nothing to do (visually or conceptually) with the film itself.

I used to imagine the process of making animated films was fun. This one looks like it was a chore for its creators – it certainly was to sit through. I haven’t squirmed so much in a movie theater since the time I saw a 1972 Woody Woodpecker as a teenager at the RKO Keith’s in Flushing, New York.

Don’t see it. If you do, demand a refund. Adult Swim owes me 79 minutes of my life.

Cartoon Network: If you really want to hurt the members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, you’ll submit this film for consideration, for Best Animated Feature. Now that might actually be funny.