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Bad Ideas

For Sale: Walt Disney’s Mustache

There’s a reason that Disney CEO Bob Iger made $34 million last year, and that’s because he knows how to commodify every nook and cranny of the Disney enterprise, including but not limited to the facial hair of the company’s dead founder.

The Walt Disney “Mouse-stache,” which is part of a bigger line of products, has been available exclusively in the Disney Parks since last fall. But before you slap on your lustrous peel-and-stick ‘stache and unwind with a Scotch-and-soda, here is some important information about Walt’s mustache:

  • WARNING: Choking Hazard: Small Parts. Not for children under 3 years.

  • Caution: This product contains adhesive which may cause skin irritation to certain individuals. In the event of a skin reaction, rinse immediately wtih plenty of water and seek medical advice.
  • I think I’ll sit this one out and wait until Warner Bros. starts selling Leon Schlesinger’s toupee.