It’s not easy being Jerry Beck

By
on

Off Topic: This is the real trailer for a Don Johnson movie, Dead Bang (1989). I’ve had to live with this for 18 years. It’s time to share the pain:

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  • http://checkeredgeekcartoons.blogspot.com Zach

    Wow… my condolences.
    Seven men? More like nine old men.

  • Cyber Fox

    Let me get this straight… Your life is scarred for 18 years because of a film starring a flash-in-a-pan 1980s actor?

  • http://www.myspace.com/brandontoons Brandon Pierce

    Personally I’ve always wondered how MST3K castmember Bridget Jones felt when “Bridget Jones’ Diary” came out.

  • http://cinemahustle.blogspot.com alexander

    Ha, come on, that movie looks pretty goddam awesome. All I’ve got semi-named after me is a golfer, an airport, and a concert venue for New York hipsters. I wish my name was Alexander Pieces or Alexander Manatou or something.

  • Thomas

    I had no idea you were such a badass.

  • Pedro Nakama

    It looks better than films coming out today. Maybe I’ll rent it!

  • http://www.adamkoford.com Adam

    “I’d go through a door with you anytime” narrowly missed being included on AFI’s top 100 classic movie quotes.

  • http://cartoondavid.blogspot.com David

    holy shit!! this is awesome! Wow. this looks like a super awesome movie. This trailer is better than any of these crappy new movies coming out. I’d watch this over beowulf, or enchanted or any other contemporary “blockbuster.” These types of movies remind me of cartoons, because they are total exaggeration. Like Cobra or Commando. It’s sad when live action becomes more cartoony than actual cartoons.

  • Floyd Norman

    I always knew Jerry’s life was more like this. This cartoon thing is obviously a cover.

    Too bad, Jerry. Now, we know.

  • http://www.fpsmagazine.com Tamu

    I could tell it was you because of the glasses.

  • http://richbailey.blogspot.com/ Richard

    Ha hah! That’s fantastic!
    What great B-grade shlock!
    Come on, you could’ve worked that as a great pick-up line.
    “I’d go through a door with you anytime, Mr Beck”

  • Bugsmer

    If they’re not afraid to come through a door with you, then you must be a very thin man.

  • Alex

    Oh man. They dont make em like they used to… or this bad anyways… or this vehemently republican.
    Dead Bang… sounds like a necrophilia picture…

  • Paul N

    It could be worse – In one scene in “Demolition Man” Wesley Snipes is going through a list of murderers kept in the cryo-prison. One name on the list was Scott Peterson, at least a decade before the infamous wife-killing fertilizer salesman came to public attention.

  • http://www.sweaterthieves.com David King

    I’d go through a door with you anytime, Beck *wink*

  • Jorge

    Very funny movie. In Argentina it was not released but it went directly to video instead.

  • http://zekeyspaceylizard.blogspot.com Zekey

    So this is what working at the offices of Cartoon Brew is like.

  • http://www.threeprong.net :: smo ::

    we should make the sequel. also an action movie, but starring you. and call it:

    “Trouble Brewing”

  • http://segaltoons.com Steve Segal

    I’m Steven Segal, I think I could kick your butt, Jerry Beck.

  • J. J. Hunsecker

    That reminds me of a Simpsons episode, “Homer to the Max”, where Homer discovers that a character in a tv cop show is also named Homer Simpson. He’s delighted that such a tough cool guy is named after him, until the producers of the cop show decide to change the eponymous cop character into a bumbling fool instead.

    Art imitates life sometimes.

  • William P.

    Doesn’t anyone notice that John Frankenhiemer directed this? This was back when a action movie like this came out all the time. They all were the same and hardly ever had any real difference between them.
    (like now)
    No sooner was it out in theaters it was on home video. So you couldn’t tell when one was coming or going.
    But I like this one cause it had Tim Reid in it.
    “Hey,you look like Woody Allen.”Funny scene.

  • Michelle

    Jerry, look at the bright side: at least they got Don Johnson to be “you”. Can you imagine the pain if they cast Joe Don Baker instead?

  • Alberto

    wow… is what you do now just as action-packed?

  • Chris

    The same thing happened to Homer Simpson, of course.

  • http://www.starfieldcreations.com awd!

    I can see why you went into cartoons instead. Must’ve been some hard times back then.

    Dead Bang doesn’t really sound like a “lone cop on the loose” movie title… sounds more like a porn movie…. with zombies…

  • http://robcatview.blogspot.com robert

    Wow! It’s hard to believe that is from as late as 1989.

    Would French Connection be the originator of that genre, or is there an earlier example?

  • victoria

    well hell I’d watch it.

  • Norman

    “Dead Bang” was supposed to be a big comeback picture for Frankenheimer, until it flopped.

  • Kris

    Dude, you get to fight neo-Nazis. There is absolutely nothing cooler than fighting dudes in swastikas.

  • http://trevour.blogspot.com Trevour Meyer

    1989? Really? This trailer seems more like 1985 tops. Man, the ’80s was just one big blur, wasn’t it? ‘Batman’ and ‘Ghostbusters II’ seem more ‘timeless’ (if you wanna call ‘em that) than this!

  • http://hitlersbrain.deviantart.com R

    I remember that one! Not bad actually, in a Burt Reynolds kinda way..

  • Alexander Rannie

    “Jerome Beck”???

  • http://stran.issimo.tv/ Papercraft

    Looks like one of those fake trailers inside Tarantino’s “Grindhouse”.
    The narrator’s voice is exactly the same in this trailer!

  • Joey Ellis

    DON JOHNSON AS BRUCE WILLIS IN THE JERRY BECK STORY!

    Soundtrack by Whitesnake and Spinderellaâ„¢

  • http://musingsofachick.blogspot.com sudiegirl

    Dude – what a rep you have! Chicks must dig that. It actually looks good to me…guns, guns, guns…

  • http://www.sisbbs.org.cn 22ccc

    It looks better than films coming out today.

  • http://brainrow.com/ Michael Burton

    Wait — you know Venus Flytrap?

  • Sgt. Virgil Lante Justice

    Are you changing the name of this website to “Dead Bang Brew”? If so, I know a lot of lone cops hell bent on vigilante style justice who are in need of a blog/message board to express their views.

  • red pill junkie

    Last Action Brewmaster! :-)

    And if you thought of the neo-nazis as hollywood producers, you would root for Don Johnson too, and you know it!!

  • Chris Sobieniak

    > The same thing happened to Homer Simpson, of course.

    Being reminded there was a film named after one of the Simpson directors too (“A Night in the life of Jimmy Reardon”).

    Really, you outta create a parody of this trailer to vent your frustrations with the industry and community here!

    JERRY: “Is there anyone that’d be afraid to walk off a cliff with me?”
    ME: “I’d walk off a cliff with you anytime, Beck!” :-)

  • http://ryuuseipro.deviantart.com John Paul Cassidy

    LOL!

    Looks like you were one tough dude, Jerry! (j/k)

    Seriously, it’s kinda’ hard for me to picture the *real* Jerry Beck in an action film! :)

    I dunno if there was any fictional characters named John Cassidy, but on a trip to a comic-book store, I overheard some people talking about a “John Cassidy,” and I thought they were talking about me, when they were actually talking about comic-book artist, John Cassaday!

    Yeah, I wanted to be a cartoonist, but I’m not THAT famous yet! :)

  • Bill5925

    Oh, come on, Jerry. At least nobody’s ever seen Dead Bang. Imagine what I’ve been going through the last few years with the name Will Turner and working at Disney on top of it. Just don’t call me “bootstrap!”

  • http://www.ronimation.com “The one and only” Ron Yavnieli

    I know exactly how you feel Jerry. I used to think that I was the only person in the world named Ron Yavnieli.(in the US at least it’s a very rare last name) Now I know there is at least one more. He lives in Tel-Aviv, is a detective and recently solved a big murder case. And this is real life not an action movie. I bet if they did make a movie of ” Detective Ron Yavnieli” It might star Don Johnson…wouldn’t that be interesting.

  • Gene

    Jerry, you’ve got the perfect forum to wreak poetic justice on “Dead Bang”: Cartoon Dump! Just appear as a character named ‘Don Johnson’ and do a live re-enactment of the final shot from John Waters’ “Pink Flamingoes” on stage! Hollywood will never mess with you again, and the audience will get the living crap entertained out of them. Best of all, Wayne Newton would be so jealous.

  • Chuck R.

    Yes, names can be cruel. Wouldn’t it be cool if Al Capp had an artist son who went into animation —and his first name was Moe.

  • http://www.joestrike.com Joe Strike

    I think the fact that the whole trailer resembles an SCTV spoof of tough cop movies is far funnier than the fact they stole Jerry’s name.

  • Spock Foolish

    Gotta love 80′s action movie titles. I swear, it’s like they used a big Chinese menu.

    Column A: Lethal, Hard, Dead, Deadly, Fatal, Striking, etc.
    Column B: Vengeance, Weapon, Force, Commando, Distance, etc.

    Choose any combo!

  • http://www.imdb.com Jon(athan) Reeves

    I think you’re better off with Don Johnson playing “you” in a crappy cop movie – I have to put up with Peter Gallagher as “me” in a crappy dance movie (Center Stage) — http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0210616/ — and his character page is so lame that in one of his two quotes, he doesn’t even actually say anything; it’s all just stage directions. (Seriously, though, I almost fell out of my chair when I saw this movie, since I had no idea in advance about the character name.)

  • Chumley

    Everybody do the Jerry Dead Bang!Everybody likes the Jerry Dead Bang!…That lovin’ baaaaang!

  • Lucy

    Hey, could be worse… I have to use my middle initial on all of my identification because there’s a convicted felon in my county with my same name, build, and has a birthday two weeks away from mine :\ And try being six-years-old, overweight, and carrying a last name like ‘Brady’.

  • http://www.frankpanucci.com FP

    How come at the end of the trailer there’s a freeze frame of a 400 pound lady at a microphone?

  • Diner

    The only thing I remember about that movie is that “Jerry Beck” gets to sleep with Penelope Ann Miller.
    Not something I would complain about…

  • c.tower

    Heck, I’m actually named AFTER a TV detective- Craig Stephens, who played Peter Gunn. That’s like the 1960′s equivalent of Don Johnson! (At least I got a decent theme song out of it!)

  • Dock Miles

    Spock Foolish is onto something — “Dead Bang” is an infamous failure of tuff-tuff-tuff syllables slammed together. And it’s so close to “Die Hard,â€? too. Reminds me of Mel Brooks’s comment that, in the era of “Rock Hudsonâ€? and such invented stud-monikers, they couldn’t use the best one of all: F**k Jones.

  • doug holverson

    But is that 400lbs *really* a lady? =:o

  • http://www.frankpanucci.com FP

    I was being nice.

  • http://torontoanimation.blogspot.com TempleDog

    Geez, Jerry, who new you were such a hard-ass back in the eighties? Ah, they just don’t write romances like this anymore. Actually, at the moment, they don’t write anything anymore! Go, writers!

  • Paul

    Don Johnson ended up gaining a paunch, wearing a vest and starring in ‘Nash Bridges’ after ‘Dead Bang.’ At least for Jerry ‘Dead Bang’ isn’t the good old days.

  • http://classicparamountcartoonsblogspot.com Luke

    It could have been worse….

    They could have ryhmed your named and say oh….
    Hairy Back?

  • Keith Paynter

    Oh, Jerry! So all this cartoon stuff…it’s just a subterfuge! Secrets and lies! Secrets and lies!

  • http://www.dvdenlinea.com Arturo

    lol…

    Maybe you should change your name to “Max Power”

  • John A

    Well, at least you’re not bitter about it like Michael Bolton in the movie “Office Space” who had to share a name with “that no-talent ass-clown”.

  • Barbara in BC

    Aha! Checked out imdb and found Beck wrote the screenplay… some quotes here:

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097166/quotes

  • http://jamessuhr.blogspot.com/ james suhr

    thank you for posting that, that is hilarious!!

  • Hooper

    I *did* see this when it came out, not because of Don Johnson, but because the director…the late, great John Frankenheimer…directed two of my favorite movies from the ’60s: “Seconds” and the original “The Manchurian Candidate”!!

    And, yes, there is a framed poster on my wall of the Burt Reynolds movie that bears *my* name! :^)

    That, and my former Groundlings director Deanna Oliver named a character in an Animaniancs’s Chicken Boo segment she wrote ‘Hooper’!! :^)

  • http://she jiena

    what?