Birds and Clem Birds and Clem
Old Brew

Birds and Clem

Monday, July 19, 2004

I was enjoying a pleasant morning walk around the pond, minding my own business, when some noisy, nasty bird tried to shit on me. It hovered over my head, shrieking, while it sprayed out a stream of excreta. I jumped out of the way, and was struck by only the tiny spot shown below on my shoulder. In no way do I blame the fine people of Iceland for the inhospitable attitude of their wildlife.

After rinsing my shirt off I go to the office, where I acquaint the lovely Script Supervisor, Thora Clausen, with my hideous hillbilly alter ego Clem. Clem appears when I put a pair of dentures in my mouth that disfigure my face and shut off my brain I’m sure he’ll cause an international incident while I’m in Iceland.

I can hardly wait.

Ken Pontac,
Breathing through my mouth,

We welcome thoughtful comments on articles, but please read our community guidelines before participating. All comments are moderated and will not immediately appear on the site; your patience is appreciated.