Cartoon CultureDisneyPolitics

That Time Vice-Presidential Candidate Mike Pence Reviewed Disney’s ‘Mulan’

Now that the candidates for U.S. president and vice-president have been determined, at least on one side, it’s time to start asking the important questions, like: How do they feel about animated features?

While Donald Trump’s opinions on animated features remain mostly unknown, we have a pretty clear idea of how Republican vice-presidential candidate (and current Indiana governor) Mike Pence feels about at least one animated film: Disney’s Mulan. That’s because he reviewed the film for his website back in 1999 when he wasn’t yet a full-time politician, a piece that was recently uncovered by Buzzfeed.

In it, Pence criticizes the “michievous liberal at Disney” who attempted to indoctrinate children with the idea that women can serve in combat roles in the military.

“Despite her delicate features and voice, Disney expects us to believe that Mulan’s ingenuity and courage were enough to carry her to military success on an equal basis with her cloddish cohorts,” wrote Pence. “Obviously, this is Walt Disney’s attempt to add childhood expectation to the cultural debate over the role of women in the military.” Obviously.

After a discussion of the “Tailhook” scandal, Pence concludes that “Many young men find many young women to be attractive sexually,” and “Many young women find many young men to be attractive sexually.” This leads to Pence’s final verdict: “Women in military, bad idea.”

Pence’s full thoughts on why Mulan is a massive cinematic failure can be read below:

Just spent a memorable Fathers Day, like so many other all American Hoosier dads, with my kids at the new Disney film entitled, Mulan. For those who have not yet been victimized by the McDonald’s induced hysteria over this film, Mulan is a fictional account of a delicate girl of the same name who surreptitiously takes her fathers place in the Chinese army in one of their ancient wars against the Huns. Despite her delicate features and voice, Disney expects us to believe that Mulan’s ingenuity and courage were enough to carry her to military success on an equal basis with her cloddish cohorts. Obviously, this is Walt Disney’s attempt to add childhood expectation to the cultural debate over the role of women in the military. I suspect that some mischievous liberal at Disney assumes that Mulan’s story will cause a quiet change in the next generation’s attitude about women in combat and they just might be right. (Just think about how often we think of Bambi every time the subject of deer hunting comes into the mainstream media debate.)

The only problem with this liberal hope is the reality which intrudes on the Disney ideal from the mornings headlines. From the original “Tailhook” scandal involving scores of high ranking navy fighter pilots who molested subordinate women to the latest travesty at Aberdeen Proving Grounds, the hard truth of our experiment with gender integration is that is has been an almost complete disaster for the military and for many of the individual women involved. When Indiana Congressman Steve Buyer was appointed to investigate the Aberdeen mess, he shocked the public with the revelation that young, nubile, 18 year old men and women were actually being HOUSED together during basic training. Whatever bone head came up with this idea should be run out of this man’s Army before sundown. Housing, in close quarters, young men and women (in some cases married to non-military personnel) at the height of their physical and sexual potential is the height of stupidity. It is instructive that even in the Disney film, young Ms. Mulan falls in love with her superior officer! Me thinks the politically correct Disney types completely missed the irony of this part of the story. They likely added it because it added realism with which the viewer could identify with the characters. You see, now stay with me on this, many young men find many young women to be attractive sexually. Many young women find many young men to be attractive sexually. Put them together, in close quarters, for long periods of time, and things will get interesting. Just like they eventually did for young Mulan. Moral of story: women in military, bad idea.